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I'm in awe of the strength of @holliebarlow_. My experiences are in no way comparable. I was never sexually abused by Xander Cooper
I'm in awe of the strength of @holliebarlow_. My experiences are in no way comparable. I was never sexually abused by Xander Cooper
However in retrospect there was a climate of fear, suspicion and uncertainty that Xander Cooper created. It was this climate that allowed him to abuse Hollie
I am writing this thread purely to illuminate the methods these people use. If you recognise any of this behaviour from your coaches or promoters, please know that it's not acceptable.
Cooper used secrecy and innuendo. Constantly dangling carrots in front of people, whether it be shows or promotions to the next class or whatever
He'd often allude to 'conversations' he was having with people. Making the outside wrestling world seem suspicious and dark Constantly alluding to customs and practices that we weren't to be aware of, or 'people' talking about us
I got on with Xander for the most part until he and Stephen got together. That was when problems started. I'd never really got on with Stephen. Not sure why. Things were always just a bit off
But after it came out that they were in a relationship things turned. After @TheBrookerMan arranged for me, @EthanAllen_YG and @Properdm to do Progress ring crew
We were the subject of not-so-cryptic tweets from steven accusing 'people' of shying away from training, instead choosing to do 'Free labour and sucking arse'
Pathetic right? But we didn't confront Cooper or Stephen. He held too much power over us. Sounds wild. 2 of us were fully grown men. The other was a child of 15
But he was the gatekeeper. We were all training 4 times a week for at least a year at this point. I'd never worked so hard for anything in my life. He had that over us
I remember the incident Ethan refers to. Ethan had messaged a promoter to do crew and asked us to join. We thought nothing of it.
One day, a non-training day, Cooper called me and Danny into the school and travelled across Manchester to meet us. This meeting was only to 'investigate' what had gone on
We were made to feel reduced to snivelling fucking school children. Soon after we were 'demoted' to the next class down
I was made to feel inadequate and to doubt myself. I was a fully grown man in my mid 20s. I'd lived in other cities, had many jobs and relationships I was in every sense, outside of wrestling, a fucking adult. But i was being manipulated and gaslit by my coach.
My behaviour was affected. I was nervous and terrified to put a foot wrong. At shows I struggled to converse with people outside of the bubble of the school
I witnessed this happening to others. When Ethan had his first ever match at Fighting Spirit Stephen was tweeting about how he was a 'little boy looking up to little men'
Fucking robbing a child of the proudest moment of his life. It took the whole locker room to reassure Ethan
Thankfully i got injured and got some space from the school. I did go back but also started training with @AlsoSamBailey . I was menacingly told by Cooper that he 'knew id been training elsewhere'
I was asked to debut at a carnival show by @BenchmarkBigJoe and after pictures went up, Cooper deleted me off Facebook so i assumed i wasn't welcome at the school again
It took months to rebuild my confidence, and i still struggle to this day. Sam Bailey stuck by me and created a fun and inclusive atmosphere. Im so grateful.
The friendships i formed through this experience, especially with Ethan, Danny and @JJ_Webb93 are invaluable. There are others, many of whom were very talented
Who quit the business and stopped pursuing their dreams because of Cooper making them feel inadequate. I send my love to them.
As I've said earlier, we knew Cooper and Stephen were bullies. But while all this was happening he was sexually abusing and gaslighting our friend Hollie
I was shocked by this yesterday and still feel utterly sick. As i said i knew they were bullies but not predators.
If you recognise any of these behaviours from your coaches, question them. Talk to people outside of wrestling about them.
If you recognise any of these behaviours from your coaches, question them. Talk to people outside of wrestling about them.
Wrestling isn't, or at least shouldn't be, a mythic society with secret codes and practices. Its a fun fucking hobby for most of us and a job for some
Nothing more. Value yourself as a person. #SpeakingOut
Nothing more. Value yourself as a person. #SpeakingOut
