I won’t get into how I look, but I am big enough & also confident enough to know this is part of the disturbance. And when we’re ready we will need to speak about how those black women who are deemed ‘attractive’ are treated by white women. Yes, I said, we’re all grown ups here.

In the past when I tried to speak about physicality folks would try to shame me into silence. Oh you’re full of yourself, you’re not all that, you’re too narcissistic ect...I kept quiet. It stopped me developing my thinking and understanding certain dynamics I could clearly see.

It was just last week in the middle of a meeting, someone exclaimed, Guilaine, you’re such a beautiful woman. Dropped like this. Out of the blue. Then happened again in the same week. Not isolated incidents. There is something that creates a disturbance for whiteness...

This only happens when I am around white women and it is always white women who make this kind of interventions. There is most definitely something going on. And we need to think and talk about it.

We are scared to go there because inevitably we will have to talk about sex, and we know there is no sex going on in this country. But again I am a Fanonian on this, and for me it is central to racism & racial dynamics.

All black women know what I am talking about but no one as far as I know has theorised this. Because the violence we experience is hardly deemed worthy of investigation, theorisation & attention. I will write about this...

I did go there #sorrynotsorry