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I help out at a few so-cal wrestling promotions and I feel inspired to share. I have been sexually manipulated/assaulted/harassed 9 times in my life...some in wrestling...some in day to day life #speakout
1. In 8th grade I had larger than average boobs. My bf at the time was bragging to his friends about touching them, I was sitting right there...uncomfortably laughing with them. He came up behind me and pulled my shirt up forcing me to flash them without consent. I cried&ran home
2. Summer before 9th grade a guy 2 years older than me got upset that I didn't like him back. He spread a rumor that we slept together and got all of the upperclassmen to call me a slut or whore every time they saw me in the hallway...sometimes even yelled it across campus.
Even wrote a "diss track" he circulated around myspace, printed it out and shoved in my face in the hallway. My entire freshman year I spent crying alone.
3. My hs bf & I were together for 2.5 years. I repeatedly told him I didnt want to have sex he replied "everyone already thinks we are doing it so why don't we" or ur a prude. 2 days after we broke up he slept with his ex and spread a rumor she was better in bed&he never loved me
4. In college I had a professor follow me on LinkedIn and send me unsolicited inappropriate messages while I was still enrolled in his class. I deleted my account and to this day never reactivated it.
5. In college I had a physics lab graded by a TA that let out at 9pm. This TA sent me a friend request on fb. When I didnt respond he asked me about it in lab the next week. I told him I dont accept requests from teachers. He replied we are friends, I'm not your teacher.
I laughed uncomfortably and said maybe after the quarter was over. That night he followed me to the bus stop and got on the same bus I did, even though he lived in the opposite direction (he told us at the start of the quarter he lived in N part of town). He was watching me
Out of the corner of his eye. I got off 2 stops early and he followed. I immediately went into the open store. He turned around and waited for the bus heading N. I stood in the store pretending to look around until I saw him get on. Next lab he brought up the stop I got off at,
I pretended that wasn't the usual route I take home, I just had to do some shopping. Next time I saw him getting on my bus, I waited the 30min for the next one.
6. FF to wrestling. I got involved becasue my bf, now fiancee, is a wrestler. At first I was just going to shows to support him. There was a wrestler on the roster who would pick a girl in the audience put his leg on the chair next to them and do a dance basically his junk was in
Her face. He did this to me once and my bf was like hey dude, that's my gf I get the gimmick but pick someone else. He then did it again the very next show and claimed he forgot what I looked like. The third time was also the last only because my bf had to threaten him
7. I started helping out doing ring crew and social media. Everyone knew I was with a fellow wrestler. There was one guy who was kinda known for being a sleeze ball. He came up behind me one day and whispered inappropriate comments in my ear while my bf was right in front of us
With his back turned. This guy got close enough that I could feel his beard on my shoulder. I awkwardly laughed it off but made sure I was never alone around him again. I never told anyone because he was a "vet"
8. I had been helping out for a while at this point, got used to joking around with the guys and what not. Another wrestler started making comments about how strong I was for a girl and ot escalated to him telling me his dick was hard and other inappropriate comments.
I knew better how to handle myself and i told him outright how uncomfortable he was making me and to knock it off. I didn't tell anyone until much later and in a joking manner becasue I didn't want to cause trouble.
9. Fans know me at this point and there is a group in particular that comes to every show and sits front row. One day one of them pulls me aside and comments how pretty I am. He says I am taken but my friend is single. Can I hook you up? Mind you I am clearly wearing a ring
On my left hand. I tell him I am flattered but I am actually engaged to one of the wrestlers, thinking it would make him back off. Instead he became obsessed with who it was. The next show he pulled me aside again grinning from ear to ear saying he looked at the promotion's fb
Page for a post that I liked, found my personal fb, which is private, so all he saw was a profile picture, and said "I couldn't see his face but based on body type I think I know who it is." He was so proud that he stalked me and openly admitted to it. When I replied and said
in a joking tone, "that is kinda stalkerish" he got offended and said he never would have done it if I had told him from the start who it was. I proceeded to go home and block every single one of them from my personal fb and to this day refuse to like anything the promotion posts
Because I don't want that happening again. These fans still come to every show and sit front row. I am always extra careful how I interact with them and what I do around them. To this day, he still doesn't understand what he did wrong.
Even if nobody sees this thread just getting this all out and seeing it written down has helped me. These are a variety of experiences ranging over 15 years but each and everyone of them has impacted the way I move through the world.
If you got this far thanks for reading. We are not alone. #SpeakOut
