Okay SO. This drama was the most difficult to access BY FAR, but these two look belligerent and pretty, which is pretty much my kryptonite.

Let's! Begin! HIStory 3! Trapped!

[drumroll]

Standard warning applies: I'll keep all my screaming tweets limited to this one thread, so if you'd like to skip my descent into this particular vortex, feel free to mute the thread.

I LIKE THIS ONE

I CHOOSE THIS ONE

LOOK AT THIS SMUG SELF-SATISFIED MAFIA BRO

wow I usually don't have any feelings about mafia stories but I'm at least 43% invested in this particular mafia bro's story already

did I just fall into a side pairing

again?

LISTEN

SMUG AND SASSY DO TERRIBLE THINGS TO MY HEART

I LOVE THIS ONE

why does he remind me of Zhao Yunlan

the whole unruffled smug badass thing is definitely my thing

omg this adorable squad and their snarky peanut gallery of one

I LOVE HOW HE'S JUST HANGING OUT BACK THERE LISTENING TO THEM

He's been my favorite from his first frame and I have no idea what his name is. \\o/

MY NEWEST SON HAS A NAME

WELCOME TO THE FAMILY, JACK

For those keeping track, I have collected the following adopted sons:

• My favorite son Win
• My perfectface son Sun
• My beautiful gentle son Arthit
• My dumpster-diving raccoon son Third
• My grumpy Pomeranian son Pete
• My good ghost son Mes

and now my smug son Jack

awwww who's this puppy of a human?

THIS IS ADORABLE and this is seriously giving me Harry the Auror Stalking Draco the Former Death Eater vibes.

aaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha I like this puppy

AHAHAHAHAHAHA HE'S MY OTHER FAVORITE NOW

ARE THEY ROOMMATES

iunno, that IS pretty gay, dude

I like this puppy. He is a Good. I would adopt him too but I think he's going to date my son Jack so I'll just be inordinately fond of him.

HIS COY LITTLE VOICE AT THE END

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH AND I DON'T KNOW HIS NAME EITHER

N O T
F O R
L O N G

well OKAY THEN

If your first thought when you watch this scene is, "You have all that money and you didn't install a rain shower?" you might be with me somewhere on the ace spectrum.

I LIKE THIS ONE TOO

Literally when Main Character Guy was like, "Who's he talking to so gently," I was like, "Probably his sister."

MMMMM.

THIS ONE HAS ALL THE BRAIN CELLS I SEE

And then he never did.

The End!

"Heh. Did you see how I kicked that guy in the stomach? I'm great, right?"

.........dude is this drama labeled "established relationship" because

sIR THIS IS A WENDY'S

are...they aware...that they're being very sexual in this elevator right now

do they need someone to tell them

i volunteer

oh never mind i think they figured it out on their own

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE welcome back my wonderful child

PERHAPS YOU STFU AND STEP AWAY FROM MY SON, OPPORTUNISTIC WEASEL

Obsession by Marc Jacobs

sir HR needs to speak with you

I need to know everything about these two idiots and how they became friends.

I HAD TO WATCH THIS WHOLE PART TWICE BECAUSE I SPENT THE FIRST WATCH THINKING, "They better wash their hands they BETTER wash their hands if they don't wash their hands I'm going to write a whole fic where they're attacked and mortally wounded by a giant urinal."

Shao Fei: I'm not gonna chase Tang Yi again.
Shao Fei: I'm not gonna chase Tang Yi again.
Shao Fei: I'm not gonna chase Tang Yi again.
Shao Fei: I'm not gonna chase Tang Yi again.

EVERYONE IT'S JACK

Shao Fei: QUOI?! MOI?!

Shao Fei: Listen, trust me on this, just the other day before he cornered me in an elevator and left me cuffed to a railing, we had this talk, and see

These two are pure and wholesome and good and I will protect them with my life.

Well. I, for one, am shocked. They keep running into each other by chance! How silly.

Shao Fei: Stop being handsome AND smart! You can only be one!

I HAVE BEEN

A T T A C K E D

STOP THIS

STOP HIM

I WASN'T READY

[velociraptor weep]

NO MORE

HAVE MERCY

I NEED TO SLEEP AND RECOVER

Shao Fei:
Shao Fei:
Shao Fei:
Shao Fei: Y'know, my art skills have improved since I drew that. I should draw another one using that photo I took from his neighbor's balcony as a model. I'm very good at my job.

"Even my amateur drawing of him is more attractive than real people. I should tell my coworkers about this. They usually unblock my number around this time."

Ten years later Shao Fei's still going to use this line to win arguments.

Power Couple Aura Intensifies

[does not get six fic ideas at once]

It has happened once onscreen, but I am issuing a declaration that in my head canon, it has happened at least twice more offscreen, and Shao Fei is shocked Every Single Time it happens.

dude have some respect for their love language

I mean /I/ had no idea what this meant but I guess after you've been dating for four years, it becomes easier to interpret "you ask some annoying questions and I'll kick the driver in the face" from a few Significant Eye Movements.

LEAVE HIM ALONE HE'S TOO CUTE TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: I was just worried because he got punched in the face really hard and if he got hurt too badly he wouldn't look like my drawing anymore and I worked really hard on that.

#h3tjs

Me: Huh, that's a cool shot. Is this a POV shot from him lying on his back somewhere?

#h3tjs

Drama: lol

#h3tjs

I LOVE THEM ALREADY

#h3tjs

"LET'S GO FIND OUR KIDNAPPED BFFS AND FALL IN LOVE ON THE WAY."

DID I GUESS IT RIGHT

#h3tjs

Boy oh boy do I love The Jack Show.

#h3tjs

iunno what to tell you bb, you picked him

Even the drama is like, "No, they seriously haven't realized it yet."

#h3tjs

I love Tang Yi looking at Shao Fei like, "How did you force me against my will to continue holding your hand."

#h3tjs

I'M 83% SURE THERE WERE PLATONIC WAYS TO HIDE, TANG YI, BUT I'LL ALLOW IT.

#h3tjs

Tang Yi:
Shao Fei:
Tang Yi:
Shao Fei:
Tang Yi:
Shao Fei:
Tang Yi: That was platonic.
Shao Fei: REALLY platonic.

#h3tjs

i choked on my tea

#h3tjs

I'm half feral for them already and they've said two and a half things to each other.

#h3tjs

I LOVE THAT HE'S LIKE -10% INTIMIDATED BY JACK

AND JACK SEEMS...KIND OF INTO IT, NGL

#h3tjs

YEP I LOVE THEM

11/10

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: Never have I ever had my boyfriend apply a tourniquet to my arm using his own tie while we were hiding out from his enemies in an abandoned brick house. Really?! Only me!? Wow, okay. [takes shot]

#h3tjs

I'M TELLING THEM

#h3tjs

What EXCELLENT established relationship content I'm being fed. Literally change the screencaps to WinTeam and there'd be zero difference.

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: What have I ever done to him? He acts like I've been stalking and harassing him for four years or something.

#h3tjs

STOP SHOWING ME FLASHBACKS THEY HURT

#h3tjs

Shao Fei:

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: Fine, if you won't have a heartwarming moment with me, I'll just share my longterm future goals with you.

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: And then he watched over me all night. End report!
Captain: ..................................
Colleagues: ..................................
Shao Fei: Nothing HAPPENED, you guys! It was totally platonic! Man, the places your imaginations take you.

#h3tjs

NOT ONLY IS HE CURLED UP NEXT TO HIM HE ALSO PUT HIS JACKET OVER HIM

I WOULD LIKE TO FILE A COMPLAINT MY HEART HAS BEEN GIVEN TOO MANY FEELINGS AT ONCE AND IT CANNOT PROCESS THEM ALL

#h3tjs

WHOEVER MADE THIS FIC OF ITSELF INTO A DRAMA,

THANK YOU

#h3tjs

[throws awards]

#h3tjs

Jack: I know you're a shameful mess but try it at a lower volume.

#h3tjs

"Now if you'll excuse me I have a future boyfriend to woo."

#h3tjs

[SNORT]

#h3tjs

ARE YOU /JOKING/

HE WAKES HIM UP BY /TICKLING/

WHAT DO YOU /WANT/ FROM ME YOU ALREADY HAVE MY HEART

#h3tjs

JACK'S JUST LIKE, "THIS KID IS WEIRD. I LIKE WEIRD."

#h3tjs

man this is such a good fic

#h3tjs

Tang Yi's Brain: Okay, I have to think of a way to explain who he is that doesn't sound like I'm attracted to him.
Tang Yi's Mouth:

#h3tjs

Nice to meet you scene I'm going to rewatch six thousand times over the next week.

#h3tjs

LITERALLY THE ONLY THING STOPPING ME FROM WRITING FIC ABOUT THEM RIGHT NOW IS THAT I CAN'T STOP WATCHING THIS

#h3tjs

I'M SO ANGRY THEY'VE BARELY HAD SCREEN TIME TOGETHER AND I'M TAKING SCREENCAPS OF THEM THAT AREN'T EVEN NOTABLE [THROWS REDUNDANT FURNITURE INTO THE SUN]

#h3tjs

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I FEEL SO JUSTIFIED

#h3tjs

[FERAL SCREAM]

AND WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW HUH

LIVE MY LIFE???

I CAN'T

THIS IS ALL I'M EVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO THINK ABOUT

YOU'VE RUINED ME, THE JACK SHOW

#h3tjs

[POINTS]

[P O I N T S]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#h3tjs

I HATE THEM WHAT THE FUCK

#h3tjs

Stranger: How did you two meet?
Zhao Zi: He kidnapped me. [sips champagne]
Stranger: ......
Jack: [smiles and nods]

OKAY I REWATCHED IT THREE TIMES I THINK I CAN MOVE ON NOW

EXCEPT WOW I STILL FEEL VERY ATTACKED BY JACK'S PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS AND HOW ZHAO ZI'S JUST LIKE, ".....ANYWAY MY LUNCH :("

okay I lied I need one more

LIKE

THERE'S NO WAY??? JACK DIDN'T SEE THIS AFFRONT TO MY SENSIBILITIES???

BUT HE WAS STILL LIKE, "I HAVE A GREAT NEED TO FLIRT WITH THIS ADORABLE PERSON RIGHT NOW AND NO ONE, NOT GOD OR HUMAN OR SOME MOLDING EGGPLANT IN AN UGLY SUIT, WILL STOP ME."

THEY'RE FLIRTING OVER WHETHER KIDNAPPING IS ILLEGAL

HELP ME???????

#h3tjs

okay [breathes]

i can move on

m a y be

#h3tjs

IT'S JUST SO CUTE HOW JACK IS GENUINELY CONCERNED ABOUT HIM AND EVEN BENDS HIS HEAD TO CHECK THAT HE'S OKAY BUT ZHAO ZI'S JUST LIKE, "C'MON I BARELY GOT TO EAT THAT"

#h3tjs

....................I'm concerned that Shao Fei doesn't have even a baseline level of self-awareness.

#h3tjs

SO MUCH ADEPT COOKING

I AM SO PROUD

AND SO GRATEFUL AS A WRITER WHO WANTS TO WRITE MORE COOKING SCENES

#h3tjs

...speaking of cooking I need to set the rice cooker for dinner and reflect on how I'm going to be committing all of my free time to writing fic about these four disasters from now on

#h3tjs

sAME ENERGY

#h3tjs

THE SHADE I LOVE HIM

#h3tjs

this actor is perfect btw he should be very proud

#h3tjs

twu wuv

#h3tjs

I give this promise ten hours at most.

#h3tjs

LOL

#h3jts

Tang Yi: We will be married by noon.

#h3jts

JACK IS THE ONLY ONE WHO UNDERSTANDS WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE. I ADOPTED THE SMART ONE.

#h3jts

Shao Fei: I came to return your lighter
Tang Yi: Thank you
Shao Fei: I know it means a lot to you so
Tang Yi: It does thank you
Shao Fei: Can I do investigation things?
Tang Yi: Don't spoil the mood
Shao Fei: Okay go on a date with me then
Jack: ...

#h3jts

Tang Yi:
Zhi De:
Shao Fei:
Jack:

#h3jts

Captain: So what did you do on your day off?
Shao Fei: ........what I DIDN'T do was go on a date with Tang Yi.
Captain: ......................
Shao Fei:

#h3tjs

[Not a Date intensifies]

#h3tjs

SO WHEN IS YOUR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY I DON'T THINK I'VE ASKED YET

#h3tjs

aaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwww

I like their dynamic lookit Shao Fei's li'l faaace

#h3tjs

[tries to focus on plot]

[searches for Zhao Zi's shirt online]

#h3tjs

Jack: Thank you for including me as an audience member to your unusual ongoing mating dance with my boss.

#h3tjs

oh my god just make out with him you ham

#h3tjs

teehee look it's jack

hello my son ilu

are you sleeping well

#h3tjs

DID I MISS AN EPISODE WHERE THE BIG CONFESSION, WEDDING, AND FIRST FOUR YEARS OF MARRIAGE HAPPENED

JUST CURIOUS BECAUSE

[HANDS]

#h3tjs

ngl I made a little moral support flag for Captain 'cos he's great

#h3tjs

noooononononono good sweet child, he's spiritually on his fifth year of marriage and he's very monogamous

I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO ONE OF MY DAUGHTERS THOUGH

#h3tjs

I would give him all the stars in the sky.

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

I RESPECT THIS GORGEOUS MAN WHOEVER HE IS

#h3tjs

Meanwhile Shao Fei is having a silent torrential meltdown one (1) room away.

#h3tjs

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HE CAN STAY



#h3tjs

WOW OKAY

SO /YOU'RE/ SELF-AWARE

GOT IT

#h3tjs

[CACKLES FOR A GENUINE MILLENNIUM]

I'M ADOPTING TANG YI

[STAMPS PAPERWORK]

#h3tjs

Y E P

DEFINITELY ONE OF MY SONS

#h3tjs

THIS

IS

THE BEST FIC

#h3tjs

oh no I love him too I've never adopted three sons from one drama before but i'm very very tempted

#h3tjs

THIS IS UNFAIR I ALREADY LOVE BOTH OF YOU STOP IT

#h3tjs

it's jack hi jack

#h3tjs

I LOVE THIS SHOW???????????????

WHY IS IT PERFECT I DEMAND ANSWERS

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: Don't cry, Shao Fei, he's not worth your tears.

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: [Windows startup music]

#h3tjs

HOW MANY WAYS CAN YOU BE JEALOUS SHAO FEI

I'LL KEEP TRACK FOR YOU IF YOU WANT TO FIND OUT

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: And since we're friends you can kiss me too IF YOU WANT TO I MEAN NOT THAT YOU HAVE TO JUST pUtTiNg iT OuT thERe................

#h3tjs

MERCY

HAVE
M E R C Y

#h3tjs

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THE JACK SHOW FOR LOVING ME AND TREATING ME WELL THESE PAST THIRTY-ONE HOURS

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: Would your oTHER friends stalk you and bring you gifts AM I YOUR BEST FRIEND YET
Tang Yi:
Shao Fei: pleasedatemeormarrymewhicheveryouprefer

#h3tjs

"HI"

"HI" HE SAYS

END ME

#h3tjs

i'm gonna go to bed, she thought, and then her reason for living appeared onscreen and she thought, but first i will watch and rewatch this scene many times

#h3tjs

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH LOOK AT THIS THEY'RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING AND I'M EUPHORIC

#h3tjs

THEY'RE IN HIS HOUSE?!?!?!?!

THE TRUST WTF

#h3tjs

[PTERODACTYL SOB]

HOW AM I EXPECTED TO SURVIVE THIS SCENE

#h3tjs

[CLAWS EVERYTHING, SCREAMS INTO THE VOID]

#h3tjs

IN THE INTEREST OF HONESTY

I WOULD LIKE YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I LITERALLY JUST THREW MY ARMS OVER MY FACE AND SHOUTED, "WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THEM," AT MY CEILING SO LOUD I FRIGHTENED MYSELF

WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS AMAZING I LOVE THEM

#h3tjs

LOOK I FULLY REALIZE THERE'S PROBABLY AN ULTERIOR MOTIVE BEHIND JACK CASING A COP'S HOUSE BUT THERE'S ALSO A CHANCE THAT HE'S JUST WEIRD BUT EITHER WAY THAT FIRST KISS LINE IS GOING TO BE 170% OF MY THOUGHTS UNTIL I WAKE UP TOMORROW TO CONTINUE MY DESCENT INTO THIS VORTEX

#h3tjs

Doctor Jiang is cute. More of the good doctor, plz.

#h3tjs

dRAGON LADY

I LOVE HIM

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: lisTEN I'VE BEEN STALKING AND HARASSING THIS BEAUTIFUL MOB BOSS FOR FOUR YEARS I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S BEST FOR HIM WHAT ARE YOU HIS FAMILY

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: LOOKS LIKE YOUR BEAUTIFUL SHIRTLESS BROTHER ISN'T GONNA LISTEN TO YOU H U H

#h3tjs

Tang Yi: So then they're bOTH looking at me, right, and I'm like, gotta love these days when getting shot at by your mafia enemies isn't the most uncomfortable part of the day.

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: WHAT CAN I SAY I'M A RELATIONSHIP HALF FULL KINDA GUY

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: why are you like this you act like the police do things like use our power for our own personal interests but /I/ have clearly never done that I am an arbiter of justice also can I see your pecs again it's for my investigation of your body and I have a deadline

#h3tjs

......................please tell me every time she gets pissed off at her brother she gets taken out for ice cream

I love her

#h3tjs

(Wait quick question. I think she's his actual sister, but when he talks about his 'brothers' I get the feeling that's not the, like, familial sense of the word, right? Is she his only blood-related family?)

#h3tjs

"yOU WILL ACCEPT MY KINDNESS"

#h3tjs

CAPTAIN NEEDS RETIREMENT (and an invitation to their vow renewals ceremony next Tuesday)

#h3tjs

omg it's like watching two happy puppies ganging up on a very tired mastiff

#h3tjs

THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#h3tjs

THAT'S HIS FIRST REACTION

NOT "NO"

JUST "I DIDN'T ORDER THIS MEAL"

#h3tjs

Jack: Man. This is /such/ a great day.

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: I WILL USE EVERY ROLE I HAVE EVEN THE MOST TENUOUS CONNECTION TO IN ORDER TO GET MY SLEEPOVER, HANDSOME, SO YOU JUST KEEP TRYING TO OUT-STUBBORN ME

#h3tjs

Jack: In conclusion I support your marriage, boss, as well as anything that annoys this guy.

#h3tjs

Jack: You see, you're in good with the guy I intend to propose a long-term cuddling arrangement to.

#h3tjs

i was JOKING ASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

#h3tjs

HOW MUCH DO I LOVE JACK BEING THE VOICE OF REASON HERE?

SO
M U U U U U U U C H

#h3tjs

[tiny shriek]

I THOUGHT SHAO FEI WAS GOING TO LIKE

USE FOUR OUNCES OF SELF-RESTRAINT AND NOT IMMEDIATELY CAVE AND RUN TO HIM BUT WOW I AM GIVING THIS DISASTER
WA AA AAAAAA AA AA AAAA YYY
TOO MUCH CREDIT

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: cool but I'm your husband though
Tang Yi: yes ofc i know that but

#h3tjs

exCUSE ME FIFTEEN QUESTION MARKS???????????????

#h3tjs

[GESTURES]

[ G E S T U R E S ]

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#h3tjs

i'm sorry nOW?

NOW????

HE'S REALIZING NOW???????

IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS

SHAO FEI

YOU NEEDED A GANG MEMBER TO TELL YOU YOUR EMOTIONS

YOU WENT TO HIS HOUSE TO RETURN A LIGHTER AND TOOK HIM OUT FOR LUNCH

YOU'VE BEEN STALKING HIM FOR FOUR YEARS WITH NO EVIDENCE

SHAO FEI

#h3tjs

Oooh, a Libra.

Born October 21st, 1990.

Crucial information, thank you.

[plans fic]

#h3tjs

Please don't give him undercover work anymore he's going to get stopped from breathing.

#h3tjs

"I have selected my pretty fool turnip wisely."

#h3tjs

This is the "you're so stupid" [takes off clothes] meme in one single screenshot.

#h3tjs

PLEASE JUST DATE

#h3tjs

THE LEVEL OF PRESUMPTION

SHAO FEI'S LIKE, "EXCUSE ME, SIR, I JUST INVITED MYSELF TO LIVE WITH HIM (INDEFINITELY) YESTERDAY HOW DARE YOU THINK YOU HAVE A PLACE ABOVE ME."

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: ......................Define filthy. I've had some thoughts relating to joint showers that by definition are quite the opposite.

#h3tjs

[PERPETUAL SCREAM]

ARE YOU!!!!!!!!

REALLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

REALLY????????????

HE'S NOT ASHAMED???????????

THIS IS SO GOOD

THIS IS GOD-TIER

SHAO FEI IS NOW ON THE TIER OF ZHAO "WHAT, NEVER SEEN TWO HOT GAY MEN TOGETHER BEFORE" YUNLAN

(teehee 'cos ZYL is a god, get it)

#h3tjs

It's super sad how low the bar is. A very basic "wow, he's not ashamed of who he is or who he loves" is making me deeply emotional.

#h3tjs

[celebrates Pride in one tweet]

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

andy ilu darling but would he have been happy REGARDLESS?

#h3tjs

Shao Fei: Repeat the word?
"Boundaries."
Shao Fei: Hmm...nope, not familiar. Could you use it in a sentence?
"People should respect each other's personal boundaries."
Shao Fei: Ha! Sounds fake.

#h3tjs

ASKJFGVHXJYGHBHPK

FIFTEEN SECONDS

THAT'S ALL IT TOOK FOR "THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND" TO KICK IN

ICONIC

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#h3tjs

Oh, how I love unfounded jealousy.

#h3tjs

Tang Yi: Normal life is fun.

#h3tjs

You're so close to the finishing line, Shao Fei. I believe in you.

#h3tjs

[standing ovation]



#h3tjs

DISASTERS

BOTH OF THEM

[fondness intensifies]

#h3tjs

YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hello bb <3

#h3tjs

Zhao Barely Attempting Heterosexuality Zi

#h3tjs

Jack: Hmm. I wasn't GONNA torture anyone to death today, but I guess I have some spare time.

#h3tjs

Dear Zhao Zi,

I HAVE SO

MANY

QUESTIONS

Sincerely,
Me (and Jack)

#h3tjs

this is the greatest day of my life

what miracle did i perform to deserve them

#h3tjs

JACK APPEARS TO BE REALIZING THAT EVERY SINGLE PASSING MOMENT WITH THIS PERSON IS GOING TO BE BETTER THAN THE LAST

#h3tjs

MY NEIGHBORS ARE GOING TO THINK I WAS /STABBED/

#h3tjs

THIS SCENE WENT FROM THIRSTY TO MOVING IN HALF THE TIME IT TOOK JACK TO FALL FOR ZHAO ZI

#h3tjs

IF ZHAO ZI HAD SAID ANY OTHER NAME BUT SHAO FEI'S, I KIND OF THINK JACK MIGHT HAVE BARE MINIMUM SLIPPED A BUCKET OF SCORPIONS IN THE PERSON'S BED AT NIGHT.

#h3tjs

ONLY THE BEST TROPES

#h3tjs

HOW MUCH KARMA DID I ACCUMULATE IN MY PAST LIFE

#h3tjs

Jack: I didn't plan for this part, but I'm definitely going to be recreating it from time to time until he realizes what I'm doing.

#h3tjs

i mean...based on what i know of tang yi at this point...he probably would...

#h3tjs

LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE TOLD ME THIS WAS A STORY ABOUT A MOB BOSS,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

#h3tjs

I should have known better as a scholar of My Boss, My Hero.

#h3tj

Shao Fei: DID YOU HEAR THAT. HE TRUSTS ME WITH HIS PRIVATE AFFAIRS. TELL EVERYONE YOU SEE, TOADIE MAN.

#h3tjs

[ INTENSIFIES]

#h3tjs

Shao Fei's thirst for his man is kind of adorable.

#h3tjs

I took a sip of tea at just the right moment that I didn't choke and end my experience here.

#h3tjs

The reason you don't know what's going on is 'cos you wouldn't let him finish with you, bb.

Also 'cos you're a jealous little viper even though he's given you no reason to be and you're not even dating yet even though you're sort of married already.

#h3tjs

....................he still might murder you, honey

#h3tjs

MAY I JUST SAY

THE SELF-AWARENESS IN THIS DRAMA IS TOP QUALITY

#h3tjs

WHOEVER WROTE THIS SCRIPT,

i love you

#h3tjs

this is mean tang yi don't pose questions he's only got four neurons and they're all occupied documenting every centimeter of you that he wants to lick and/or bite

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

Tang Yi's like, "Excellent, I was worried that some of the explicit fodder I've been graciously feeding to him wasn't permeating."

#h3tjs

Dude, Shao Fei breathes fire whenever anyone touches Tang Yi, you're not gifted in The Sight.

#h3tjs

.....................wot

#h3tjs

NO ONE INTIMIDATES MENG SHAO FEI AND I /LOVE/ AND /LIVE/ FOR IT

#h3tjs

/ALL/ THE BEST TROPES

#h3tjs

SHAO FEI IS GOOD AT HIS JOB

#h3tjs

excuse me captain dad plz don't make my son sad

#h3tjs

Not to be all "WHERE'S JACK" but where's Jack

#h3tjs

My son Jack and I agree that this is hot.

#h3tjs

Jack's like, "Nah, I get it."

#h3tjs

Jack: Teehee, I'm gonna fuck up your whole life the instant I have enough evidence, traitor.

#h3tjs

Now, I don't know Tang Yi well, but I /do/ think he might be a trifle miffed when he finds out she had a hand in getting his boyfriend shot in the stomach.

It's a shaky theory, though, so take it with a grain of salt.

#h3tjs

BOTH MY GOOD MOB SONS IN ONE FRAME HELLO MY GOOD MOB SONS

#h3tjs

Am I reading into this too much by thinking Jack's making it sound like he means Hong Ye but because he's a BossCop shipper he means Shao Fei? Because I'm gonna assume that's what my son with many brain cells is doing.

#h3tjs

Zhao Zi: Okay who here knows Shao Fei has a crush on Tang Yi?

[every single hand]

Shao Fei: ..........................................but I haven't told all of you yet

#h3tjs

Zhao Zi: .........y'know what, I'm gonna go find my cute scary boyfriend

#h3tjs

EXCUSE ME, DRAMA

YOU ARE A FIC

HOW DARE YOU DO AN ADORABLE THING I'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN IN A FIC

HOW /DARE/ YOU DO A THING I WASN'T EMOTIONALLY PREPARED TO HANDLE

AGAIN

#h3tjs

NO

NO

STOP THIS

OW

MY FEELINGS

THEY HAVE WOUNDS

#h3tjs

HA HA HA

TANG YI'S NAME WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID WHEN HE WOKE UP

HA HA HA

[EVERY SOBBING]

#h3tjs

HE'S

ABOUT

TO

C
R
Y

#h3tjs

NO STOP CRYING I DON'T WANT TO BE RIGHT

#h3tjs

JACK COME CHEER UP YOUR SPURNED PUPPY BOYFRIEND

#h3tjs

THEY LITERALLY WENT TO THE TROPE MARKET WITH A WHEELBARROW HUH

#h3tjs

I WILL GNAW YOUR SOUL OUT OF EXISTENCE IF YOU DON'T MOVE THAT GUN AWAY FROM MY SON, VOID BAIT

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

I love that he found them anyway.

Good job, bb.

#h3tjs

this is too wholesome and pure help

#h3tjs

[cries for a thousand years]

#h3tjs

#h3tjs

[VELOCIDACTYL SCREECH]

#h3tjs

𝕀 𝔸𝕄 𝕆ℕ𝔼 ℕ𝔼ℝ𝕍𝔼 𝔼ℕ𝔻𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕆𝔽 𝔽𝔼𝔼𝕃𝕀ℕ𝔾𝕊

#h3tjs

WELCOME TO THE JACK PORTION OF THE JACK SHOW

#h3tjs

Have I talked at length in the last five minutes about how much, why, and what I love about Jack?

#h3tjs

YOUR DITZY PUPPY BOYFRIEND IS DELIGHTFUL, JACK, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU BOTH

#h3tjs

I COULDN'T STOP WATCHING, LIKE, "DON'T YOU DARE DO THE TROPE I HATE DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE HIM TANG YI I WILL BE SO ANGRY WITH YOU IF YOU DO," AND THEN SUPERIOR HUMAN SHAO FEI DID THAT AND I WAS LIKE, "OH MY RAINBOWY GOD WHAT A GENIUS MENG SHAO FEI IS"

HE'S MY H E R O

#h3tjs

exCUSE ME

WOULD ONE OF YOU BE SO GOOD AS TO EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU DO BARELY ANYTHING AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO WRITE TEN FICS BASED ON IT

IT'S RUDE, OKAY

KEEP DOING IT

#h3tjs

I LOVE THIS CINNAMON ROLL AND HIS CINNAMON ROLL WITH A SWITCHBLADE

#h3tjs

Jack: The only way this man is going to live a long life is if I murder every malicious human being who even breathes in his general direction - a task I am willing, ready, and excited to execute with fervor for him.

#h3tjs

IF I MUST GO TO SLEEP, I AM PLEASED FOR IT TO BE WITH THIS ADORABLE PERFECTION AS MY LAST VISUAL BEFORE I DO

(also thanks my good mob son you reminded me that I have to add you four to my deity AU because of this line)

#h3tjs