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So i rewatched #TROS exactly six months after Kylo& #39;s tragic & #39;redemptive& #39; borderline suicidal badly scripted THING. And it was one of the best experiences I could have in this cold Thursday night. [thread]
You know that saying & #39;Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think& #39;?
That was what I couldn& #39;t stop thinking while watching it. That movie is objectively BAD. It& #39;s so bad it& #39;s PATHETIC. You spend 90% of the screentime having involuntary laughing fits.
That was what I couldn& #39;t stop thinking while watching it. That movie is objectively BAD. It& #39;s so bad it& #39;s PATHETIC. You spend 90% of the screentime having involuntary laughing fits.
Oh look, another OT reference! Oh look, they repeated a line from TFA! OMG LUKE HAN & LANDO ARE BACK! Gotcha? Gotcha?? This whole shit is a sucession of & #39;gotchas& #39; so childish I felt like I was watching a SW fanfilm made by a cringey 42 [diddya notice the reference? ;)] y.o. dude
Kylo on the other hand... no, first of all. That shit was written by someone who HATED Kylo Ren. You can feel it. They turned a volatile, complex, emotional masterpiece of a character into a Cold, Calculating Villain (tm)
I mean, they TRIED. Bc Adam was there.
I mean, they TRIED. Bc Adam was there.
You can watch it happening before your eyes. Adam was given THAT script, and spent the entire years of 2018+2019 studying, rehearsing, planning how he could SAVE his poor Kylo from what they were trying to turn him into. The dude went BEYOND HIS LIMITS with this movie.
Each eye movement, each stance, each voice inflexion, he was there, desperately trying to put Kylo between the lines of the whole new character he was being paid to play.
You bet Adam& #39;s away bc hes too busy fixing the SEVERE BACK INJURY HE GOT CARRYING THIS MOVIE ON HIS BACK
You bet Adam& #39;s away bc hes too busy fixing the SEVERE BACK INJURY HE GOT CARRYING THIS MOVIE ON HIS BACK
Talking about this new character, it is... how can a movie with a #Reylo kiss be SO anti-reylo?? They turned Kylo and Rey into the strawmen antis always said they were: cold manipulative male abusing innocent and childish female. Ew. EW.
Where& #39;s their unique gender non conforming dynamic? The dude who got heart eyes being overpowered by his love interest? You still can see it in some 00,2 sec gazes Adam magistrally managed to shove in, but that& #39;s it. Reylo killed itself in all possible meanings. SO joyful.
Talking about joyful... you see, these writers are excellent at mood whiplashes. But in this movie they used their powers like a SFX artist would to CRAFT A GRAPHIC SUICIDE SCENE IN A SHOW AIMED AT DEPRESSED TEENS. The Chewie& #39;s death/not death was already heavy. C3PO& #39;s quite so.
But what they did in Exegol was... you see, I& #39;m 100% pro shock and outrage in fiction but I can affirm with honesty that THE MOOD WHIPLASHES THERE WERE AN UNETHICAL DECISION.
In probably 10 seconds, you go from worry to relief, joy and then BANG. You get shot. The stomach drops.
In probably 10 seconds, you go from worry to relief, joy and then BANG. You get shot. The stomach drops.
Kylo Ren& #39;s death has a PHYSICAL effect in the viewer. Its the kind of nauseating jumpscare Id expect to find in a contemporary art exhibition/a documentary, NOT a & #39;all ages& #39; movie. Second 6,5, hes smiling and having the time of his life. Second 7,5, DEAD AND BLUE ON THE GROUND.
Also, my kudos to the makeup artists! They managed to deliver 10 or smt seconds of a VERY REALISTIC CORPSE of our movie& #39;s hero! The faded eyes, the greenish hues, the dangling members as Kylo craddled her reacting very realistically... A+ crime scene! Just missed some paramedics!
And then after this fucking Law and Order episode, we& #39;re invited to celebrate with all the galaxy! Woohoo! More gotchas as all the planets of other movies are shown celebrating [ROTJ, who?]. Group hug! 0000,1 SECOND LONG LESBIAN KISS!! DIVERSITY!! 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🏳️🌈" title="Regenbogen-Flagge" aria-label="Emoji: Regenbogen-Flagge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🏳️🌈" title="Regenbogen-Flagge" aria-label="Emoji: Regenbogen-Flagge">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🏳️🌈" title="Regenbogen-Flagge" aria-label="Emoji: Regenbogen-Flagge"> buy from u$, you f word$!
Other important mentions
-Mary and Joseph from Alabama blessing our virginal herohttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😇" title="Lächelndes Gesicht mit Heiligenschein" aria-label="Emoji: Lächelndes Gesicht mit Heiligenschein">
-Stormpilot as a canon ship [idc there wasn& #39;t any kiss- neither did John and Oscar while playing their roles!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Gesicht mit Freudentränen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit Freudentränen">]
-Lando flirting with his own daughter
-Mary and Joseph from Alabama blessing our virginal hero
-Stormpilot as a canon ship [idc there wasn& #39;t any kiss- neither did John and Oscar while playing their roles!
-Lando flirting with his own daughter
-Zorii failing at her only mission of making us think Poe is straight
-Literally 10 occasions Finn could make it CLEAR he& #39;s force sensitive but said something of dubious meaning
-Let& #39;s not talk about Hux. Period.
-The Knights who Say Nothing and Do Nothing [but look COOL]
-Literally 10 occasions Finn could make it CLEAR he& #39;s force sensitive but said something of dubious meaning
-Let& #39;s not talk about Hux. Period.
-The Knights who Say Nothing and Do Nothing [but look COOL]
and last but not least:
-THAT lifting-the-xwing scene that& #39;s supposed to make us feel something, but instead only works as a cringeworthy reminder that this movie is a fucking temper tantrum thrown at Rian Johnson and everything he believed SW could be =D
-THAT lifting-the-xwing scene that& #39;s supposed to make us feel something, but instead only works as a cringeworthy reminder that this movie is a fucking temper tantrum thrown at Rian Johnson and everything he believed SW could be =D
