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I made a joke here one time many years ago about how people who are convinced they are great partners being like a person marking their own script. Of course you'll give yourself an A. If you have liver, ask your partner and tell them you're ready to hear the truth. See gbege!
Someone came back and told me they asked their partner and it turned to fight that they didn't know they had that many offences. See everybody is great at giving others feedback. Accepting it?? It's hard. I know. I struggle too. Thankfully they were able to work through it.
Partners lie to each other a lot. The resentment that slowly builds up is not worth it though. Being able to give and receive feedback, being able to separate the person from the issue, those aren't instinctive skills, they have to be learned. You even have to learn how to fight.
Long story short, the relationship you're experiencing & the one your partner is experiencing is not the same thing, even tho you're in it together. If you're not checking in, you're probably missing the mark. And if you're saying "why didn't they talk" you've missed it for sure.
Found it. I'm not sure why I recalled it as being a long time ago or as being a joke 
https://twitter.com/Gbemisoke/status/1048617050120364034?s=19
https://twitter.com/Gbemisoke/status/1048617050120364034?s=19
