Had a couple too many cannabises the other night and woke up to an email saying I had won my bid for FORTY vintage bar and truck stop snapbacks. They’re here. Where the fuck am I going to put forty hats

I’m also being dramatic, I have a dedicated hat cabinet but it’s gonna be TIGHT

It was mailed to me from Mason City, IA

Lotta good hats in here. Definitely from a wider array of industries than I initially thought/described. You guys would really love many of these hats.

Really think the Nebraska Lottery could have put some more thought into this one.

Clean as a whistle, though! $175 shipped.

The inimitable @dhm fleshed out the grotesque history of this incredibly well kept corduroy joint. $275 shipped!

This one has visor flare and a pissing robot. $750

SELECT ALL CENTER JUSTIFY

There are 36 other hats in here

When some men get divorced they get a fast car or a too young lover. Ron got an oil company.

Love 2 make people think of bone skin and tendon when they look higher than my eyes

I’ll leave you with the sexy one. My place smells like a fucking thrift store right now because there are forty old hats in it.

Update: this is the first one I wore outside

I just got another box of stupid hats and they are from a different person who is also in Iowa. I think I own 2% of all the hats that were in Iowa in the beginning of the year.

Worth it.

100% gibberish to me but very big “Creep Father That Threatens To Shoot Anyone That Dates His Daughter” vibes.

I really, REALLY doubt that you know anyone that owns more Chevrolet dealership hats that say “The Heartbeat Of America” than I do.

My pal of two decades @hitswithhammers coming through with the spit take reply

Full disclosure I have two more boxes on the way. One of them only has 4 hats in it but they’re all different Stroh’s Plant Of The Year commemorative hats.

Hate this badly and need it out of my house. DM in the next 5 minutes and I’ll send it to you for free or it’s going in the trash

Okay, hilarious story. I’m still buying boxes of hats. The original mistake turned out to be a fun hobby.

I bought a good one a couple weeks back, got an email at work from USPS on 9/14 saying it had been delivered. Got home, no box.

Well, shit. Nothing eBay can do (1/2)

Emailed the seller, very nice person, told him I’d love to leave feedback but I don’t have the hats. Things get stolen. Thought to myself, “Whoever took that is going to be so disappointed when they open it.”

Just got home to this in the vestibule 8 days later:

Worth it