I’m a weird one because I only swerved the life many of my peers ended up in by a hair. So I can’t be intimidated by hypermasculinity etc because I can return the energy with no problem, but at the same time I know it’s something I’ve had to work to divest from.

I remember when I bumped into someone that was homophobic to me and I wanted to crash it on them but time and place... So I just let them know what the deal was verbally. It’s been a constant battle between ego and also divestment from things that don’t positively serve me.

(I still recieved the blame for causing a scene).

The point is that trying to adhere to certain pressures is a lose lose. I don’t have a ‘rep’ to uphold, it was only my ego I was battling. “How dare they be homophobic to me when I could bully them physically” - no one cares.

Don’t get it twisted though, that fire inside will never stop burning lol. I just manage it so much better now. Because ultimately these people mean nothing to me. It was my ego that was the enemy.

[This thread can be boiled down to “ego is an opp”. Especially for men trying to adhere to notions of masculinity].