Read on Twitter
“The louder your voice is the more you scare people away. Don’t you want a relationship? Do you think guys are gonna see what you’ve been tweeting lately and want to date you? No, you’re scaring them away.” — my white cis hetero male friend said this to me. now, a thread...
He is still my friend and yes, he is stupid. He knows he’s stupid. When I called him out for the above statement he was upset because he didn’t intend for it to be harmful. He was trying to help. Here’s the thing, though...
It’s not helpful. First, I don’t have time for men (or anyone at all) who have taken issue with what I said in yesterday’s tweets or any other tweets of mine. I welcome their fear and I will (figuratively) stomp on anyone who tries me. That being said...
Versions of the above quote are said to womxn all the fucking time. By their friends, their significant others, their superiors in the workplace, their equals in the workplace, complete strangers, and so on...
We don’t always have the strength or wherewithal to combat these statements. Sometimes we internalize them and feel we need to change, and be more submissive, and silence ourselves because society has ingrained in us that we HAVE to just to gain acceptance...
ICYMI, my tweets yesterday: you don’t have to share your trauma or anyone else’s, but silence is complicit, there are a multitude of other ways to support your peers without hurting anyone. That’s the summary of what I said...
...and that, apparently, was bold enough to make this man say I’m scary to the point where I deter all romantic prospects. Go ahead and just sit on all that for now. Rest assured, I’ll be back with more soon.
