THREAD: A white lady approached my husband at the store the other day & stared at him until he felt moved to ask her if they knew each other. She said, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry" & then gave a little speech about him feeling welcome in our community.

I appreciate the sentiment behind it (she just doesn't know what else to do, I suppose) and he did too but please, white people, don't do this. We've never even thought twice about belonging here. It's unnerving to now suddenly be singled out. Also...

Life these days is exhausting enough. We don't want to be your emotional paper towels. Don't wipe your regret and guilt all over us and then walk away. It isn't our job to appease whatever unease you are feeling but it's starting to feel like a job.

She left us with a great party story. We laughed about it together and we'll tell it often. But there's an "ick" factor to it that makes me quite sad and fatigues me. I'm not here to ease your pain. I have my own pain. We each must do our own work, pls don't put yours on us.