THREAD: A white lady approached my husband at the store the other day & stared at him until he felt moved to ask her if they knew each other. She said, "I just wanted to say I& #39;m sorry" & then gave a little speech about him feeling welcome in our community.

I appreciate the sentiment behind it (she just doesn& #39;t know what else to do, I suppose) and he did too but please, white people, don& #39;t do this. We& #39;ve never even thought twice about belonging here. It& #39;s unnerving to now suddenly be singled out. Also...

Life these days is exhausting enough. We don& #39;t want to be your emotional paper towels. Don& #39;t wipe your regret and guilt all over us and then walk away. It isn& #39;t our job to appease whatever unease you are feeling but it& #39;s starting to feel like a job.

She left us with a great party story. We laughed about it together and we& #39;ll tell it often. But there& #39;s an "ick" factor to it that makes me quite sad and fatigues me. I& #39;m not here to ease your pain. I have my own pain. We each must do our own work, pls don& #39;t put yours on us.