I was a barmaid
He was a reveller
He ordered a drink
And I put a rice in it
Next thing he woke up in my bed in Mwiki
I made ngwaci
He was pleased
I stole his heart but not before stealing his wallet
Now we are running our own bar and hardware pale bypass
No kugeria mani https://twitter.com/TiffanyWambui9/status/1273602950196277250

https://twitter.com/eyepencils/status/1273703189771104257?s=19

Saizi naendesha Harrier na kusumbua mavijana pale Kimbo
Charles has been a wonderful husband
Ata wakifunga mabar sisi yetu bado iko open 24/7,Kiambu ni yetu

So bibi alifukuzwa but akaacha watoto. The kids were a nuisance and walikuwa wanakula sana kama hikio kimama kyao. Ni pombe nitauza ama ni githeri nitahagera??
I took them to gicagi to stay with the grandma. Ata wangu nililelewa na mama yangu na saizi ni wanabiashara

My first born Kevo anauza masimu second hand huko Githurai so I knew her kids will turn out ok.

Proposal
Kamakis we went
He ordered matumbo chemsha na kichwa ya mbuzi
But not before ordering kikombe ya supu
No man has ever ordered food for me
I was wet
But in all the wrong places
My top was drenched in sweat
We sat next to the kitchen, fearing they might steal his meat

The choking smoke
unbearable heat
unruly crowd
And the burnt goat head
Perfect ambience for a proposal
No he didn't utter the words
no kikuyu man has ever
He fed me a piece of the juicy matumbo
Gave me a sip of his Guinness
And told me to start working at the hardware tomorrow

And just like that I was Mrs Njoroge, assistant CEO at Blessed Classic Hardware, Ruiru Bypass
Patroness Tumaini Bar and Resort, Ruiru Bypass

And that's how I met my 3rd husband, turus
Charles has just woken up, his feet are swollen, I forgot to give him his gout meds
Goodnight