I hope this email finds you well in these strange times. I hope this email finds you strong and fierce in these tormented and torrid times. I hope this email finds you lying on a bed of leaves in an enchanted forest, watching stars shoot through the inky sky.

I hope this email hunts you down to your mountain lair, takes you by the throat and holds you to account for the many wrongs you’ve committed against my family.

I mean can we just go back to starting emails with Dear x, I hope you’re well?’ Because it still applies, only we mean it a bit more.