When I was 18ish I went with my mom & brother & aunt to visit my grandparents on the east coast. I mostly don't remember the trip because I mostly don't remember anything, but one thing that stuck out for me was when we went to a mall, and it was crowded, and

everyone was BLACK. all the heads covered in dark hair, all the skin shades of brown. I'd never experienced that sight before. There was sort of a disconnect, in that I didn't see them and think "OMG THESE ARE MY PEOPLE", but it still felt... GOOD to see that.

I grew up in Albuquerque, Missoula, and Eugene. These are not places where you will go into a mall and everyone will be black. It's also part of why I get that "not black enough" feeling.

Many of the classic hallmarks of "black culture", music, food, even religion, weren't around for me to absorb. I grew up on Metallica and later country music. Being a Supernatual fan, being a whole ass WEEB in my teens/twenties, that's some white culture.

But it's also not like I can suddenly say "I will now shun my organically occurring interests and develop a new personality based on what I think a black woman should be into".

There's no point to this thread. I'm just working through some of my feelings about a life of whiteness. People I knew strictly always used to be so shocked to find out I was black. Even people in WoW that I voice chatted with.

Bag over my head, I could probably Pass.

Idk.

This thread makes no sense, sorry to those who read it lololol I'm gonna make ramen