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When I was 18ish I went with my mom & brother & aunt to visit my grandparents on the east coast. I mostly don& #39;t remember the trip because I mostly don& #39;t remember anything, but one thing that stuck out for me was when we went to a mall, and it was crowded, and
everyone was BLACK. all the heads covered in dark hair, all the skin shades of brown. I& #39;d never experienced that sight before. There was sort of a disconnect, in that I didn& #39;t see them and think "OMG THESE ARE MY PEOPLE", but it still felt... GOOD to see that.
I grew up in Albuquerque, Missoula, and Eugene. These are not places where you will go into a mall and everyone will be black. It& #39;s also part of why I get that "not black enough" feeling.
Many of the classic hallmarks of "black culture", music, food, even religion, weren& #39;t around for me to absorb. I grew up on Metallica and later country music. Being a Supernatual fan, being a whole ass WEEB in my teens/twenties, that& #39;s some white culture.
But it& #39;s also not like I can suddenly say "I will now shun my organically occurring interests and develop a new personality based on what I think a black woman should be into".
There& #39;s no point to this thread. I& #39;m just working through some of my feelings about a life of whiteness. People I knew strictly always used to be so shocked to find out I was black. Even people in WoW that I voice chatted with.
Bag over my head, I could probably Pass.
