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This is probably gonna be a long non-sensical thread about my personal life and feelings so just... warning in advance I guess.
I’d been thinking about making it for a little bit but I’m never sure how/what all i want to say and how it’ll go.
I’d been thinking about making it for a little bit but I’m never sure how/what all i want to say and how it’ll go.
I’d say like 80% of the reason I was nervous to go meet Peep (my then-crush now girlfriend) and Codi (a lovely moot who’s a very talented creator and awesome person)
...was because I was convinced I’m constantly cat fishing people.
...was because I was convinced I’m constantly cat fishing people.
I think I still think I am, in a way. Don’t get me wrong, all my pictures are me but like... I don’t know how clear it is in the photos I take (because I purposefully post higher angle and the best looking ones) that I’m pretty fat.
That’s why I don’t really post full body pictures of myself, as much as I’d like to show off my cool fandom shirts or my comfy outfits. I’m only just recently getting comfortable with just existing as a fat person and not having to feel bad all the time.
I was. SO. SO nervous meeting Peep because at that point I had a huge crush on her and while I knew in my head (and definitely know NOW) that she would NEVER think less of me or anything just because I was fat but. I was so scared.
Thinking back on it knowing Peep as well as I do now I kinda laugh at myself, but I was just. So terrified. I was so sure that I had somehow catfished her and that was the only way she could possibly be interested.
I was always the girl that had a ton of friends because I was nice and kinda smart and helped people and could draw people stuff, but I was never the pretty girl, I never felt good about myself physically.
I’m not sure what exactly the point to this thread is? I think I needed to just word vomit this out of my head. I wanted to put words on my twitter about this subject specifically. I do want to make it clear that I’m surrounded by people who love me how I am,
and I’m experiencing less fat phobia from those directly around me nowadays (for the most part 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)
). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)" title="and I’m experiencing less fat phobia from those directly around me nowadays (for the most part https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)">
). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)" title="and I’m experiencing less fat phobia from those directly around me nowadays (for the most part https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)">
). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)" title="and I’m experiencing less fat phobia from those directly around me nowadays (for the most part https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">). Also I took some selfies the other day when I was feeling actually good with myself and I wanted to add them (look at those polar bear pjs!)">
Anyway yeah like I said I’m not really sure why I wanted to post this, maybe the weird feeling that since some of you haven’t met me.... you don’t know what I look like (read; you don’t know how fat I am) and it feels like cat fishing somehow?
Anyway if you stuck around through all this ramble bullshit thank you and I appreciate your time! I know this thread sounds sad but overall I’m like... okay... with this.... part of myself right now? Having great people in my life has definitely helped. https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💖" title="Funkelndes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Funkelndes Herz">
