As an educator who works with young women AND as someone who was 5'10 in the 8th grade: I cannot implore you enough to talk to the young women in your life about the ways older men will hit on them & make them feel like it's a sign of their maturity.

Regardless of YOUR gender, if you know any 11-12 year old girls, please debunk all the pop culture nonsense about muses, groupies.

Our culture is saturated with examples of older men using young women's minds and bodies as inspiration.

It needs to stop.

Young women deserve to know the truth about how proximity to power is a trap.

Please speak frankly with them about how it *does* feel good to get attention, especially from people who have power. Validate their feelings. Then debunk the whole thing.

Every. Single. Woman. I. Know has a stories of older men who took a liking to them when they were WAY too young to be on that man's radar.

We often tell those stories nonchalantly or with a throwaway joke.

We often don't even process how messed it was until we're older.

Be clear with them that the red flags are not just "creepy old guys" but also guys in their 20s; hot guys; guys who are friends with their older brothers; the drummer from their favourite band.

If you know a 11-12 year old girl and you think "But she's so young! So little! I shouldn't be corrupting her with this. Nobody would target *her*. She's so clearly young!"

I wish you were right but you're not.

Because I was very tall for my age, & very precocious, I often excused the creepy behaviour of older men as "They had no way of knowing I was too young!"

Which is complete and utter bullshit. Adults know who is and is not an adult. Anyone who says otherwise is a predator.

Having worked with young women for almost 20 years as a violence prevention educator, I can assure you that young women are ACUTELY aware of how their changing bodies are perceived by men and they are desperate for someone to help them sort out their complicated feelings.

Please be brave enough to broach the subject with them.

Ensure you do it in a way that recognizes that teens want to be taken seriously & so people treating them as "older than they are" FEELS nice.

Starting there helps you avoid any victim blaming undertones.

And as always: Stop excusing the behaviour of older men who have a "penchant" for young women.

Stop supporting Woody Allen. Stop giving awards to Roman Polanski. Stop listening to R. Kelly.

Stop vouching for predators.

PS If your porn search is all "Barely Legal" and "Teens, Teens, Teens!" I am profoundly uninterested in your opinions on this issue.

KBYE

Re-upping this tweet from yesterday.

Sometimes, parents/caregivers say to me "I love the message but coming from me, it doesn't land with my kid."

Then you can show them this hour long presentation I did specifically for young women: https://twitter.com/JulieSLalonde/status/1273309950756954112?s=20