There’s a lot of talk about fandom toxicity going around again, so I think now should be a good time to come clean about a lot of the things I’ve said and done in the past that I now regret

A couple of months ago, I surrounded myself with a very different group of friends, ones much more well known in the fandom for one reason or another. I didn’t want to let this opportunity of being friends with ‘big users’ slide, so in a bid to gain their respect, I started-

-acting a lot like them so I could feel part of their group, which resulted in me saying and doing a lot of pretty bad things, most notably throwing around a particularly word that’s been a big talking point recently. I guess my scapegoat was ‘it’s not hard r, so it’s ok’-

-when it really wasn’t. Not at the time, and especially not now. Unfortunately this was a pretty repetitive behaviour of mine, stemming back to 2018 actually. My reasoning was ‘it’s not actually aimed at a person, so it’s fine’. But no. It’s not. Under any circumstance.

I’m upset it took me so long to come to such a conclusion, as I still threw the word around this January, and even as recently as early May, pictures have been found of me saying the word (with hard r) to mock someone who used said word frequently in the past. I thought-

‘This word is awful, and this person was awful, so surely there’s no issue quoting them using such a word right?’ But no. Anyone could easily take a picture of that, remove the context and use it against you as a funny haha joke or an act of genuine spite, so TL;DR,-

Don’t say that word at all. It’s one of the most vile words in the English language, and using said word in any way just shouldn’t happen. To the few who might’ve seen these pics, I greatly apologise you had to see that side of me. I promise I’m far above using such-

-awful language for funny meme points. Even though it was never said out of genuine contempt, it still doesn’t make it ok.

Luckily I’ve been fortunate enough to have these old ‘friends’ exposed for their own wrongdoings, and I now surround myself with much better people-

-who aren’t afraid to inform me of my own missteps, and were willing to give me a second chance, and especially thankfully, understand that past actions don’t immediately make you a bad person. It’s never too late to change, be it vowing to change 3 years ago, or even yesterday-

It’s never too late.

Speaking of these friends, I’ve also said and done some rather snide or backhanded things to them, and proceeded to chastise people for problematic behaviours, without realising I had done these same behaviours in the past myself.-

-hypocritical yes, and since it’s all been brought to my attention, I’ve been finally taking measures to attempt to be better. I’ve seen how cancelled people in this fandom end up, and I really don’t want to join them. To these people who may see this thread, thanks for not-

-giving up on me despite all I’ve done. I’m in great debt to you all, and I promise to continue to improve with time. One of these measures is taking frequent breaks from the fandom, or social media in general, and focusing on things that make me happy-

-and i advise doing the same. Surrounding yourself constantly with bad news and negativity is going to have an impact. For your own sake, and by extension that of your peers, just take an hour or two every day to recharge, collect your thoughts and-

just relax. The world does suck, but that doesn’t mean you have to choose to keep thinking about how much it sucks. I learned this the hard way and almost lost some of my oldest friends because of my frequent self deprecating and dramatacism, so please-

-just take some time for yourself if you need it. Anyone can change, it’s just up to them if they want to.

Man this thread’s gone on for ages and I’ve kinda lost the point, so all I really have left to say is
Take care guys, things will get better with time, trust me. <3

You from the past doesn’t have to be you today, and past actions shouldn’t define you if you’ve taken actions to improve. Anyone can be a good person, it’s just up to yourself and others to realise it. But I think I’ve said enough now, take care peeps, you’re all epic

Yes, there’s a lot of bad right now, but I think it’d do us all well to not ignore the good that there is around, even if it’s hard to recognise it right now