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A thread on @RevKevDeYoung's latest, and the outrage (?) many are feeling.
Background: My wife and I lost our first child in the womb this year. Fertility has not come easy to us, nor did it come easy to our parents. We both come from "small" families who struggled to conceive. https://twitter.com/TGC/status/1273338376524095491
Background: My wife and I lost our first child in the womb this year. Fertility has not come easy to us, nor did it come easy to our parents. We both come from "small" families who struggled to conceive. https://twitter.com/TGC/status/1273338376524095491
The first thing here we need to understand here is that Kevin isn't writing/tweeting/preaching in a vacuum. Here's a tweet from 2 years ago where he promotes singleness as a gift. He even implies it is difficult and says it's not always a choice. https://twitter.com/RevKevDeYoung/status/958797070428704768?s=20
This tweet came shortly after this sermon, wherein he preached an **entire** sermon on singleness. What did he encourage the married people to do? "Don't tune out. We need to understand each other to be the church" (paraphrase). https://christcovenant.org/sermons/living-lord-not-married/
These came after a TableTalk article he wrote in 2011, which concisely dealt with other issues, e.g., the pain of infertility. He lobbied for sensitivity, & admitted he had likely been insensitive before. He wrote to unify big/small/childless families. https://www.ligonier.org/learn/articles/love-big-and-small/
With Kevin's past well in view here, let's ask the obvious question: was he being insensitive to me and my wife, who are childless because of the Lord withholding his blessing?
**Absolutely and unequivocally not.**
What about singles? Nope. Financially burdened? Not at all.
**Absolutely and unequivocally not.**
What about singles? Nope. Financially burdened? Not at all.
Why? Because he is clearly writing to people who can have kids (i.e., married, fertile), not to every single possible person. He's writing to people who can have kids and, as he did in his sermon in 2018, asking the rest of us not to tune out—or be outraged he didn't include me.
In other words, if you find yourself single, struggling with fertility, even weeping the loss of your own children and dreaming of the life you could have had with them, then Kevin isn't dismissing you. He's not saying to get off your butts and have kids, as though you're lazy.
He's saying that children are the future. This is just true. The church needs leaders for when pastors, elders, & deacons retire. We should be encouraging that, not decrying Kevin as an insensitive monster. The church grows in part through children—not SCOTUS decisions/elections.
So how do I, a childless father facing my first father's day this weekend, read @RevKevDeYoung? A few points of application I've drawn from what I believe is a helpful article:
1. I'm a pastor, so I should work to help parents learn the catechism to better teach their kids.
1. I'm a pastor, so I should work to help parents learn the catechism to better teach their kids.
2. I'm a husband in a financially stable home, with the income to support children. My wife and I are applied to be foster parents (not foster-to-adopt) this week.
Let's catechize other kids and see what Jesus can do. All while giving them a safe place to sleep.
Let's catechize other kids and see what Jesus can do. All while giving them a safe place to sleep.
3. I'm a youth and young adults pastor. I'm going to seek to mobilize young adults (even singles and childless) in the church to help our youth families love their kids, teach them the Gospel, and encourage them to grow to be leaders of Christ's church. AKA: make disciples.
4. I'm a Christian, and therefore I heed the words of the single Lord Jesus: "Let the little children come to me." Whether my kids or someone else's children, I'm going to strive to be a better gospel-preacher to children. I want to be a conduit to faith, not an obstacle.
The simple reality is children are all around us. As the church, we can and should rejoice in others having children. And if you, like me, can't or don't yet have children, maybe we should seek to help families grow larger by giving our time & resources to ease those burdens.
So is Kevin bashing the childless, infertile, single? No way. He's got a proven track record of loving those people. Loving me.
So maybe let's stop bashing Kevin here & start focusing our energy on the children in our church & how to plant/water. Then watch God provide growth.
So maybe let's stop bashing Kevin here & start focusing our energy on the children in our church & how to plant/water. Then watch God provide growth.
