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As a pastor who facilitates men’s domestic violence intervention groups, I would strongly urge you NOT to have more children than you think you can handle.
No one becomes an abuser overnight; anyone can become an abuser — even (especially?) a Christian.
As a pastor who facilitates men’s domestic violence intervention groups, I would strongly urge you NOT to have more children than you think you can handle.
No one becomes an abuser overnight; anyone can become an abuser — even (especially?) a Christian.
Why?
Everyday, we make seemingly inconsequential choices that either forsake or reaffirm our lust for power and control.
Everyday, we make seemingly inconsequential choices that either forsake or reaffirm our lust for power and control.
As a people with an exceptionally high moral ethic, Christians are inclined to “live better” than the next guy while hammering out demands of compliance in that guy (and everyone else).
This myopia lends toward spiritual abuse — the exertion of power and control in God’s Name.
This myopia lends toward spiritual abuse — the exertion of power and control in God’s Name.
Having more children than you think you can handle — and somehow guaranteeing they will be properly discipled into Christendom — is like handling two seemingly inert substances, only to discover that they explode when mixed.
If you suspect you can’t handle x children, you’re probably right.
And you can’t return them to the stork once you come to that realization.
Which is a contributing factor for so many children experiencing abuse: try as we may, we can’t control the outcome of autonomous humans.
And you can’t return them to the stork once you come to that realization.
Which is a contributing factor for so many children experiencing abuse: try as we may, we can’t control the outcome of autonomous humans.
Both as a pastor and the father of four, I pray you might be spared from one day being confronted with the choice between the rules of your morality and a relationship with one of your children.
Can you live in that tension?
Can you live in that tension?
The alternative is that you rule with an iron fist and populate the enemy’s army, a self-defeating venture for the long game of your culture war.
On the solution side of the issue:
What if we took seriously this moment in which we’re living?
What if we leaned into the tension of systemic racial injustice and the oppression the LBGTQ+ community has experienced in many faith communities?
What if we took seriously this moment in which we’re living?
What if we leaned into the tension of systemic racial injustice and the oppression the LBGTQ+ community has experienced in many faith communities?
What if we walked into the pain, learned a ton, and came through the other side with a good, beautiful, and true expression of the Great Commission BY forsaking a culture war that makes enemies of the cross based upon moral imperatives rather than the sacrifice of Jesus?
