Stay tuned for my take on Roberts’ judicial philosophy about which I am as expert as the many new pontificators about police reform/abolition.

1/4000 When Justice Roberts was appointed, conservatives rejoiced, while liberals feared the....

Court would take back cherished rights. Roberts, born among the rolling fields of (?), had a typical youth, but one moment from his childhood did portend the role he would come to assume.

3/4000 (last was 2/4000) While fishing in a nearby stream, young John saw a bear.

4/4000 The bear was large and the young boy small. But he saw its kindly eyes.

5/4000 Now, you may be asking yourself, what pray tell does this story about the young Chief tell us about textualism?

6/4006 (i need more tweets) And you would be correct that it tells us nothing!

7/N But Johnny J (as his friends cleverly nicknamed him), was not to not learn a lesson that day.

For in the bear’s solem eyes, he saw that wisdom had no party.

9/N Kindness no father.

10/N That the size of a man (because the bear was, of course, a man) does not determine his worth.

11/N And it was there that Roberts learned to abhor tyrants and bullies even if it meant drawing the ire of the corporate entities you most want to befriend.

12/N (interlude) Back soon, my dog, Honest Abe, to whom this thread is dedicated must relieve himself. Even great men must pause (a paraphrased quote from my favorite justice, Wilfred Whitest)