I gave a talk for the women of a church last night, where my 4 points were as follows:

1) Church is good for adults
2) Church is good for kids
3) Church *is* family
4) Church is hard

In Q&A, the comment was made that point 3 was "revolutionary."

In one sense, I agree. Church as the primary family unit *is* revolutionary. But it's a revolution that was started 2000 years ago & it's a revolution we need to reclaim today, as we've unbiblically boiled down intimacy to sexual intimacy & family to the nuclear family.

Thanks to @RevKevDeYoung's controversial piece commending having more kids, there's much conversation right now about how Christians can reclaim ground in the next generation. On the one hand, I agree.

More kids being raised in the Lord is a great thing in itself & the fact that Christians have, on average, more kids than secular folk will make a big difference to the shape of the world in the coming decades. It's hard raising kids & it's vital that we support nuclear families.

But it's also vital that we *don't* exalt nuclear families at the expense of single believers, who - if we listen to what the NT actually says - aren't living a second-best Christian life, but if anything have the upper hand (1 Cor 7).

This is especially important if we are striving to shape culture when it comes to sexual ethics. Our ultimate goal isn't to win culture wars; it's to win people. & when it comes to LGBT questions, our goal isn't to shout people down but to welcome them in.

If our Christian culture marginalizes single people, it's not biblical & it's not a culture into which we can invite most LGBT people, who would be giving up romantic relationships to follow Christ.

I'm sure @RevKevDeYoung would agree with this. His goal wasn't to denigrate singleness but to affirm parenting. But I think the first culture war we need to win is the war against our own church culture that has slipped so far from NT community ethics.

2 years ago, I wrote an article for @CTmagazine on why I don't always sit with my husband in church.

I thought it would be the *least* controversial thing I'd ever write. Just applying basic Christian ethics.

Turned out it was the *most* controversial! https://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2018/april/why-i-dont-sit-with-my-husband-at-church.html