Read on Twitter
One afternoon last year I was walking home with a friend and passed a car pulled over on the road by two police officers. Judging from the lady's attire, I believe the family inside were Muslim.
The children were crying and the police officers were telling the man to do something which he seemed not to understand or be able to hear and the woman looked terrified. I stopped a few feet past them once I'd registered what was happening and turned to my friend.
I asked my friend - and forgive me, I honestly can't remember who it was, genuinely, and if it was you and you read this, I'm not for a moment suggesting you were wrong or responsible for my decision - I asked my friend, 'should I make sure they're ok?'.
And the thing is, if you're asking yourself this question, you know the answer. Of course I should have made sure they were ok. I didn't need my friend's permission. But it's a bit scary and above all, as gross as it is to admit, it's just kind of *embarrassing* isn't it?
It's awkward and uncomfortable and embarrassing to blunder into a situation that's nothing to do with you. Of course I should have checked that family were ok. Of course I should have made them feel supported and those police officers feel scrutinised.
My friend looked at me like I was mad and I felt silly and I just went home.
I think about that family most days. From the little I saw, I believe they were telling them the children were improperly secured in the back of the car, and it was a harmless stop, but who knows.
I think about that family most days. From the little I saw, I believe they were telling them the children were improperly secured in the back of the car, and it was a harmless stop, but who knows.
I work very hard and very consciously to recognise when discomfort steers me in the wrong direction, because we're all mired in a rough sea but I definitely have a boat and some people just have armbands or nothing at all.
I'll think about that family every time I see someone with the police and think 'should I make sure they're ok?' and I will. Next time I won't just go home.
