Read on Twitter
tl asleep ?
no ass just explanation bc i did leave some of yall worried umm
okay so technical explanation, with adhd comes with a lack of emotional regulation and ngl ya girl normally lives on the ânot suÂĄcidal but life not really hittingâ and i deal with a lot and kind of suppress it bc talking abt it makes me
uncomfortable so when things get bad for me ngl they get rlly dark bc my emotions r times 10 and i go into a spiral so yes my downs may seem a little xtreme but the feelings r very real for me. so when that happens, ik itll just be a really fked night or week and i just need to
deactivate until im okay and turn off read receipts because i cant trust myself to not overreact or say something ill regret and i go to my private twitter and vent and soft block some people but only keep the people that have gone through the same thing or wont judge me
and yknow 10x not that suÂĄcidal means very suÂĄcidal and im impulsive when i spiral so i tweeted my feelings atm which hinted at my thoughts of hurting myself and someone sent that to the person that it involved and i was kind of accused of threatening
suÂĄcide just to get a response which is kind of fucked because before i even got a text back i hurt myself for the first time in a very long time bc i couldnt even find my addy so ,, like those emotions are so embarrassing to me and i dont even have a safe space anymore so im ??
going to disappear for a little because i feel violated and gross and embarrassed and kind of guilted into not even attempting suÂĄcide which is honestly ?? such a confusing feeling but my therapist will be earning her pay today so i just feel like i owe yall an explanation
idk how to read my emotions man i could be gone for an hour or a month every time im down it feels like a forever thing but i know thats just my lack of emotional regulation making things very intense for me and making my heart hurt so idkk man see yall when i see yall luv u all
im okay i just cant deal with all of this and the racism and colorism and graphics and terror on my tl at the same time so i have to pick and im not picking twitter this time 
