short thread on the need for neurotypicals to communicate clearly
1. in response to an email, line manager asks "let me know if you'd appreciate a quick check in" and it's literally broken my brain
2. Aside. I would guess many NT people wouldn't have a clue why but many ND people will get why instantly
i. What is this if not a check in?
ii. Oh, you mean phone call - line manager knows I find the phone inaccessible
iii. So what are they asking?
iv. Because there's a big power dynamic going on I have to get the answer right, so I have to spend vast amounts of spoons when I could be doing my job trying to triple guess the right answer
v. the "actual" answer is "no, of course I wouldn't like a phone call, and we have just had a check in" but I know that's the "wrong" answer in neurotypical-speak
vi. So, am I being *told* to arrange a call, in which case why the hell ask a question?
vii. Do *they* have an undisclosed disability which means they can't do email comms accessibly so I need to make the accommodation?
viii. I am still no closer. I just kind of intuit that the right answer is "that would be lovely" &
a. "shall we do it now?" - result, I can't work for rest of the day because processing overload
b. "shall we do it at the end of the day" - can't work all day bcause anxiety
8. On the other hand from a self-care & advocacy standpoint the right answer is (even this is giving too much):
"As you know, I would much rather check because the phone is really inaccessible in by email but do let me know if you need me to call"
9. But if I do that, like all the advice tell you that you should, I will have yet another mark against me for "being difficult"
10. and to repeat, finally - neurotyipcals - WHY do you do this? When you *know* the things we have told you are inaccessible, please don't ask us to do them without telling us why; don't EVER do that thing of pretending it's "for us" when it's for your own insecurity
11. & please, please, don't ever advocate awareness or diversity or pretend that you are all for inclusion when you then demonstrate by your actions that you don't listen to anything /end
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