A thread.

To All CSPS and Aspirants

CSS: Revisiting Paulo Freire

I was a bright child of my family as I always passed my examinations with flying colours. This made my family & especially my father that I had to pass CSS & be a CSP officer.

Eventually, it became my dream.

I struggled for it. Being born in a educationally backward area, I had to go through tough times as I lacked resources.

By 2011, I came to know about CSS forum (A website). I surfed it 24/7. I was always there almost for two years. I learnt a lot from that & befriended aspirants

I got selected for MUET. I joined it in January 2013. This was a new journey; a journey, which opened new chapters. New friends, new books, and new atmosphere.

Very soon, then, my father was diagnosed with liver cirrhosis. It was a difficult time for me and my family. (3)

Only solution was liver transplant and it was too costly that we couldn't afford.

By that time, I had quit university due to financial issues and tensions.

We didn't lose hope.

I had friends in university; we started collecting donations for my father.

My friend used to quote Rizvi

"We cannot let people die just because they cannot afford to live."

I had the box, and students donated out of their pocket money.

I also posted on Facebook & CSS forum, many friends & unknown helped.

It was quite difficult to manage 40+ lacs.

We did that, relatives, uncles, friends helped and we went India for liver transplant.

Making it short: My father passed away before operation.

This was the time I started realizing the oppressive structure we lived in.

Now, coming back to the dream of CSS.

I struggled...

To make it true.

This time, I was not same Zuhaib.

I had started reading books other than those of CSS.

I had started observing the cruelties of the oppressive structure.

Observing and dreaming being CSP went parallel in neurons of my mind.

After passing my MSc. I took CSS examinations. I failed into two papers. (7)

In 2018, I qualified PCS screening, I passed its written, got great numbers in interview and didn't get allocated.

I am 28 now. I think 'To be CSP or not to be'

Not to be is dominant now.

It is just because, I don't want to be a part of this oppressive structure. (8)

It is not about 'Grapes are sour'.

As I have two attempts of CSS and three of PCS.

Revisiting Paulo:

Why I wanted to be CSP?

The oppressed has 'dual identity'
one of him/herself And other of the oppressor.

The oppressed tries to be like oppressor.

to my self that I would be an honest officer.

That was not true.

I wanted to be like them and it was impossible to change the oppressive structure by residing into it. (12)

Historical task of the oppressed: to liberate themselves..."

Ending this with:

Me: Sir, why you didn't go for css?

Sir: I was born to be a teacher.

Now, me: I was born to be a political worker, a teacher, researcher and a writer.

All power to the oppressed.

the oppressed, as objects, as "things", have no purposes except those their oppressors prescribe for them."

In this process, we are dehumanized, this thread is a 'No' to that dehumanization.

Adding into the thread:

The other reason for thousands is also to secure a job.

I would put it in this way: around 20 thousands aspirant fill the forms and around 13 -14 thousands take exams.

2-3 % get allocated. This means 400 - 500 candidates.

Thousands remain unemployed

But, they ask you, "Why don't you go for CSS".

Through this, government uses discursive power, and tells public a quote of Bill Gates

"If you were born poor, that is not your fault, if you die poor, that is your fault"

If you don't get a job means that is your fault.

People go for CSS due to its "Meritocracy"

Let me put, this way,

Thousands of students can't afford education.

What is meritocracy for them?

Have you seen tragic side of our education?

Quality education is rarely available.

Now, students from villages where

they have no quality education, how would they compete with those fellows of LUMS, IBA .....O and A levels blah blah?

It is like 100 meters race.

Students from above universities just need to run for 50 meters and those poor students need to run for 100 meters

No thousands

Then, they would tell you and make stories, "Look, that son of a farmer became CSP."

Can someone tell me what % of CSPs belong to poor families?

This structure dehumanizes us all.

It kills our creative soul.

If there were egalitarian society:
believe me, thousands of you, would become whatever you had wanted.

As Marx says,
I could hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening, criticise after dinner,"

You may say I am the dreamer
But I m not the only 1

This thread is never meant to be against individuals. This is against the oppressive structure we live in.

There is a thin line between the oppressed and oppressor.

This line decides what side you are at.

The task of oppressed is to liberate themselves and their oppressors

We, the oppressed, will 1 day liberate you, oh, our dear oppressor.

We, the oppressed, will 1 day, humanize you, oh, our dear oppressor.

We, the oppressed, will 1 day,
stop you, oh, our dear oppressor.

We, the oppressed, will 1 day, emancipate you, oh, our dear oppressor.