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hey i& #39;m gonna talk about a quickie little thing now that i have the green light to go about it in this way
about a month and a half ago i was diagnosed w/ DID (dissociative identity disorder). since then and after a WHOLE bunch of research and talking to my therapist, it makes -
about a month and a half ago i was diagnosed w/ DID (dissociative identity disorder). since then and after a WHOLE bunch of research and talking to my therapist, it makes -
- a LOT of sense and clears up a lot of confusion i& #39;ve lived with about myself. this is something i& #39;d by default keep to myself as a) it& #39;s a preTTY BIG THING and b) i know how stigmatized this condition is and i& #39;m not sure if it& #39;s a good idea to subject myself to that, but! -
- i know that being unaware of having it really caused me a lot of trouble in regards to acting hypocritically, impulsively, rashly, and like... it& #39;s why i never talked about the deleting/reuploading stuff or gave straight answers. different parts wanted different things, -
- any sort of communication between parts was AWFUL, and i honestly could never figure out how to say "hey i& #39;m really sorry for ___, i barely remember doing that and didn& #39;t have any control over it" and expect said apology to come across as genuine when i knew it would probably -
- happen again. apologies are in the verbal wording of course, but just as importantly in the changed behavior. of course, my behavior with this online persona is only a tip of all the weird shit this condition has caused in my life, but those aren& #39;t things i need to -
- disclose publicly. the public inconsistency and rash behavior is the public& #39;s business i feel though, because y& #39;all were the ones who witnessed it. so i want to finally say i can put out a proper apology for all those years - having a covert system isn& #39;t an excuse, i will -
- insist upon that, but i can finally promise that i know how to manage these problems and i can feel confident in saying my behavior will change. coming from myself and all the funny little lads i share a brain with, we are extremely sorry for the confusion, frustration, -
- disappointment, and hurt we caused. promising one thing and suddenly going back on it later (and back and forth and back and forth, rinse and repeat), visceral self-hatred blasted publicly, not giving straight answers or giving different answers to different people, and -
- anything else i& #39;m not even aware happened, all of that confusing or hurting anyone is totally understandable and we really don& #39;t think anyone deserved that from a creator they look(ed) up to. in the month and a half we& #39;ve known about the system, communication has already -
- improved compared to beforehand (for example, i waited until the one part who was indecisive on saying this stuff publicly finally agreed to given we set some boundaries afterwards), and i& #39;m sure it& #39;ll only get better from here! like i said in a short thread i made -
- a while back about being diagnosed with a pretty daunting thing, i& #39;m really excited to know more about myself and finally have the answers to help myself be a better person. for myself, my friends, my fans, hell even the people who don& #39;t have the best opinions of me LOL -
again, this diagnosis is in no way an excuse for the aforementioned stuff, but more of a solution i think. we& #39;re very sorry, you guys deserve better, and we know how to work on it, work together on it, and do better now
__
since i& #39;m making this information about myself public, i also want to take a minute to set some boundaries. unless it directly affects you guys, i wanna keep this aspect of my life private unless any mind-changing happens in the future (we& #39;ll cross that bridge when we get there)-
i just wanna ask that you guys respect my/our privacy, i know i& #39;m normally very open about my experiences w/ mental illness but this is sorta different, especially with how much learning i still need to do about myself.
i also wanna add a final note to any systems who are following me (i know there& #39;s a lot of y& #39;all out there), y& #39;all are so fucking valid and real and even if i don& #39;t know any of you directly i wanna say i& #39;m supporting you all in spirit (haha funny joke) from my little corner of -
