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When i was 17 i was bullied to a suicide attempt by Bart from the band Mom Jeans. Since i became VERY active in the bay area scene i discovered he was in this band that is very well known. I've been wanting to speak out about this for a year now.
I've had a statement saved in my phone since learning he was around but i'm going to just write from where my brain is right now. He didn't only bully me but other people who also wanted me to come forward and i feel like i owe it to them with my platform.
While going through depression and before being diagnosed with bipolar i was a manic teenager who ran away from home. I had a horrible reputation of obssessing over my first boyfriend ever who i had my first kiss with and lost my virginity to.
This was the main topic brought up about me as a teenager. After this situation began to pass Bart began comforting me and being my close friend.
He comforted me and was there for me through people making jokes about me and starting rumors. Alot of drama within our friend group happened, i slept around, i turned on him by becoming friends with someone who told me he was a bad person, and he began saying things to me.
Him and his friends Dalton and Jeremiah who has sinced passed away, said evil heartless things. Making fun of disabled people, making jokes about taking advantage of them, bragging about bullying a girl to suicide (who was not me), and saying racist jokes among many other things.
Calling women "dog faced whore", telling them to go get raped and kill themselves as a casual comeback. Challenging people who were talking about suicide. Mocking disabled people, using the r and n word. CONSISTENTLY. WEIRD things no person should or would ever say.
They also talked about people who they claimed to be friends with. After my suicide attempt my mom made us move away. He continued to write "erin is still alive??" online with Jeremiah to the point where i asked a friend to tell people that i died so they would leave me alone.
I left social media. They believed the rumor and continued to write jokes about me dying and asking if i killed myself and saying how happy they were that i finally did it successfully.
He was telling people i was lying about trying to kill myself. He said i was doing it for attention. He spread this about me among many other things. Him and his friends posted jokes online about me faking suicide. Everyone said i was a liar and i became a joke.
I created a facebook page labeled as a "burn book" of his high school after talking to another girl being bullied by him in a attempt to get him to write things. He did. I took screenshots and sent them to everyone he was talking about so they would believe me.
That was also a main topic when people spoke about me. I then confessed to creating the page to show people he was a horrible person. People told me i was 'crazy' and took it too far. I NEEDED to prove to people that the things i was saying were true. FOR MYSELF.
He bullied his ex who was transitioning at the time. Making jokes about them strapping their chest down and telling them to 'go get raped'. His friends defended him by saying he was "heartbroken" as if he had the right to say those things. He hated women who 'broke his heart'.
A few years later one of his friends told everyone that Bart was a evil person and he apologized for things he said by saying Bart made him say those things. No one can MAKE YOU say anything.
He was a openly racist incel who said the n word. There were times where he stuck his head out of the car window and yelled it at black people walking down the street. He made jokes about calling the police on them. He used the word in regular conversation.
There was a time where we were on a date and he took my phone while i was in the bathroom to text my friend (who was warning me about him) evil things. That person knew it was not me saying those things and knew i was with him at the time.
He had a history specifically with females and doing shitty things to them, saying shitty things. He is a heartless emotionless sick person. His statements were from the lowest of the low. Nothing 'normal'. He told me and many people "go kill yourself".
Me at the time, being a hurt person dealing with my own emotions and mental stuff, went through with his statement. TWICE. It was not only that statement alone, but a build of everything he said directly to me and to other people about me.
He took the years of 17-23 away from me as i was in a deep depression from his words. I started medication at 19 and he continued to make fun of how fat i got during this time to people that were my friends as they told me what he would say.
At 23 i discovered the bay area scene and since then have become very active in it and have worked with many bands. I have also been hesitant to come forward because of what could come of my reputation as well. In this moment, typing this, i do not care.
This was long ago and i keep telling myself to move forward and forget it happened. But how do you fully move on when someone who bullied you to suicide twice and changed your whole life with their words is around? Especially when there's other victims.
I hope he's a better person but i can't believe it because who can change from being that way? Since speaking to old friends about him and his actions i was encouraged to speak out for not only myself but others as well. The bullying was not 'normal'.
It was mental ABUSE to myself and other females. I won't be reading or responding to anything, i dont care what people defend him, but after i get this off my chest i will feel fully free from everything in my past. I am currently thriving and doing what i love to do.
As a fully grown adult who has matured so much since then, i hope he has as well enough to apologize to everyone. I don't think anyone expected us to work in the same music scene, but i am here. I thought he was the past coming back to haunt me but it's actually the opposite.
His words were a complete attempt to get women to hate themselves for hurting him. This is the final time i will ever speak of this or of Bart. Thank you.
