Thread (this has been on my mind).

Two years ago, I was confronted by protestors while leaving a controversial speaker’s lecture at Queen’s. They accused me of being on the side of bigotry. I tried to convince them I wasn’t a bigot. But it didn’t help ease the tension.

I didn’t go to the lecture because I supported the speaker’s views. I honestly knew very little about the him and wanted to know what all the fuss was about. I didn’t pay any money to go.

I’m not naming the speaker. If you want to know, you can find it online somewhere. But I don’t want them or their views to be the focus of this thread.

I started filming the interaction, fearing it would become physical. I ended up putting it on YouTube but have since removed the video. I thought I’d been a victim of a far-left mob. And while the experience was definitely uncomfortable, I now recognize I was in no way a victim.

What really happened was my white fragility and privilege was being called into question, and people who wanted their voices heard were left with no choice but to scream at the top of their lungs.

Footage of the encounter taken by someone else was incorporated into a story by a right-wing outlet without naming me or trying to get my consent. (They didn’t really have to. But I want to be clear that I had no hand in that.)

However, I did reach out to a radio host on the advice of a friend. She had me on her show to talk about the incident. I thought I was voicing the need for free speech on university campuses (which I still think is important), I realize I was wrong to make the situation about me.

I should have made space for and listened to those who had concerns with the speaker—who had a lifetime of experiences that I would never know.

I can’t sit here and voice support for #BlackLivesMatter and equality for all without acknowledging the ways in which I’ve contributed to the problems at hand, such as upholding structural racism, whether it was intentional or not.

I’m sad that I’m only realizing this now, because it means that I may have made someone feel less comfortable speaking about their experiences. But I can’t go back, I can only move forward with a renewed commitment to being anti-racist and an effective ally.