I was raised in a children's home..deep inside kibiko forest in Ngong and I hated it there.I hated the Sunday services when the priest came to exorcise us from whatever eveil spirits he believed possessed us,I hated when he applied his anointing oil on us in the name of redeeming

Us,I hated it when strangers came in with donations and we had to face smile for their photo sessions for them to have something to brag about on social media whilst showing everyone just how philanthropic they were.I hated it when they asked us to narate our stories over and

Over again acting like the cared while more often than not they actually didn't.I hated the meals, and the corporal punishments that were offered by the chief on the weekends.every day I prayed wondering and asking God to give me a way out.I was angry at my Mum for giving up

Easily.she knew she wouldn't make it to the next day and on that last Friday just as sabbath was beginning she sat us down told us her time was up and had us share the proverbial last supper with her.I always wondered why she didn't negotiate with God for more time like Hezekiah.

Maybe just maybe things would have been different.I Looked forward to the freedom that came with being in school. The good meals and the different environment.I opted to stay at school during mid terms not because I had flopped like the rest but because I didn't want to go back

Home.the only had times I enjoyed the holidays were when the Irish sponsors came we had dinners and movie nights at prestige plaza and I enjoyed those nights.otherwise I found solace in Music and writing. I was and still am a loner who opted to lie on the grass enjoy the breeze

And sun and picture my http://future.how  different it'd be from what fate had served me.but no one prepared me for the world and how cruel it might be. I was of age and was released but where do you start.I got the freedom I very much longed for but ironically I wished I

was back at the shelter. Its ten years now since I left and I still don't feel like I for in .I am still a bad judge of character, I still cry a lot and seek solace in http://music.one  thing I am outgrowing though is trying to fit in because I probably never will and I

Made peace with that fact.I have however enjoyed God's favor thus far and like Mannaseh God has been patient with me.I falter and fall short and loose my way at times but His Mercies have been sufficient thus far. I pray that I live long enough to protect my Babies and hold their

Hand through life's journey.that I'll get stronger and figure out the mess that is my heart and be more kind to myself.Otherwise I am grateful for the far I have come and as the food book says in 1st Corinthians 15:10 it is by the Grace of God that I am what I am and I'm grateful

For the far I've come