A patriarchal society measures manhood by the person’s ability to dominate others while resisting being dominated themselves. Admitting you’re ignorant about something can be seen as weakness, thus diminishing your value as a man. This is what has y’all looking goofy.

This is why dudes act like they're being attacked when someone dares to point out that their beliefs are problematic. If they admit that they're wrong, they see that as admitting that they've been dominated, thus meaning they're less of a man than they thought they were.

In the case of Black cishet men, this is especially tough cause they're already wrestling with the hypocrisy of claiming manhood in a patriarchal society while being clearly dominated by the rulers of society. You can see it quite clearly on this app today.

That's what I see in Cole's song. It's not about wanting to learn, it's about him feeling inadequate not being able to deal with it. Noname's politics exposed just how shallow Cole's politics are.

In a patriarchal society, knowledge is only useful in its ability to help the man dominate. Cole felt attacked because Noname showed she has knowledge that he doesn't, thus meaning she has the greater ability to dominate. Hence this line..

Cole claim his beef is with her approach, but it's not, it's with the fact that she has knowledge and he doesn't. That shit doesn't fly in a society that organizes masculinity around domination.

Truthfully, it's rarely if ever about the approach. A Black woman can offer the kindest critique ever and some dude will respond to her on some "oh you're one of those uppity b*tches" because he views her as attacking his manhood.

But as I said the the other day, there must be an organized struggle to combat this kind of thinking. Those like myself and others must create organizations that address these things. I’m excited that this work is beginning to take place.

In the meantime, to the Black cishet men reading this thread who want to know where to start as far as interrogating patriarchal masculinity, these two books were transformative for me.