Imagine if Shake Shack actually did poison those milkshakes. And then the government was like, “please don’t do that.” And then they did it again and killed 1000 ppl every year for roughly 50 years. And then when ppl got upset and were like, maybe we should abolish Shake Shack

Other ppl were like, idk, maybe we should reform Shake Shack. And so, they govt was like, “hey Shake Shack, don’t do the bad thing anymore.” And then for another 50 years Shake Shack kept poisoning ppl. And more and more Shake Shacks kept popping up, mainly in black neighborhoods

And Shake Shack employs would burst into black ppls homes, without even knocking, and they forced their milkshakes down their throats. And nothing happened. And then Shake Shack just kept on killing, even on video, shoving their Shakes down black ppls throat. And then ppl got

Big mad, real mad. And they were like, Abolish Shake Shack. We tried to reform them, it didn’t work, so we really don’t need Shake Shack. And then other ppl were like “I think we should make it illegal to poison ppl with shakes.” And the other ppl were astonished, bc it already

is illegal. But those other ppl were like, “we will pass a law that says you cannot force poison shakes down ppls throat.” And Shake Shack was like, “we feel very disrespected that anyone would say we are being bad.” And so Shake Shack kept on poisoning shakes even when there

Was a protest against Shake poisoning. Like, they just kept doing it. And the govt asked nicely to not poison anyone again. Plus, we will give you 300million dollars. And the Abolitionists were like WTF is going on?! We did that already, Shake Shack DGAF!

The fries were really good.

There is literally no other way to get my milkshakes. I can’t think of even one other way. Can’t abolish.