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Remember when Rory Delap played for us and never took a single throw in?
Remember when we part ex’d George McCartney for a player who had a heart attack and when our gaffer was told he replied “I’m surprised they found one”?
Remember when Pascal Chimbonda wore Magi-Gloves during games in the height of summer & when asked why it was because he was scared of wasps?
Remember when Callum Davenport played for us and his brother in law stabbed him in the legs and he couldn’t play footy again?
Remember when we signed Eboue only to terminate his contract a week later when he got banned by FIFA for a year?
Remember when we signed the wrong player only to unveil a 4’11” circus show to 30,000 fans at a reserve game?
Remember when our Chief Exec gave a £60k a week five year deal to a lad with a broken back?
Remember when we then had to pay her £750k to leave her post because she knew one of our players was a sex offender but didn’t tell anyone?
Remember when she then became the agent for the player with the broken back and tried to get the club to pay off his horrendous contract that she had given him?
Remember when M’Villa was waiting to sign but Moyes said he wanted N’Dong instead & we paid £11m more than what his club expected for him?
Remember when we signed Lee Camp, a goalkeeper who had no arms?
Remember when our owners nicked £20m off us and told us “we had no business sense”?
Remember when we sold replica kits with a new sponsor ironed over an old one because we were too cheap to get new ones?
Remember when we signed an Argentinian international from Inter Milan, said we didn’t want him, didn’t know what the contract said, released him and still had to pay £20m in fees and legal costs for him anyway?
Remember when we appointed someone’s son as Director of Football and he waxed the summer budget on a load of Champ Man regen’s who didn’t even have wiki pages?
Remember when our goal of the season was won by a beach ball?
Remember when we sold out Star forward Asamoah Gyan after the transfer window closed?
And a couple of years later he was denying murdering a rapper as part of a human sacrifice.
And a couple of years later he was denying murdering a rapper as part of a human sacrifice.
Remember when “Dioufy” threatened to stab teammate Anton Ferdinand so we had to let him go?
Remember when we were playing shite against a lower league team in the cup and our gaffer got so mad he Kung Fu kicked the tactics board and snapped it at half time?
Remember when we had to insert a clause in a player’s contract to stop him flying to space?
Remember when we played Juventus & the best part of the game was Spider-Man fetching a ball out of an access tunnel?
Remember when we had a promising young England school boy on the books only for his career to take a turn and have to settle out of court with another one of our players after being shot in the eye in an air gun accident?
Remember when our best manager in years left to manage England only to be sacked after one game for giving advice on how to circumvent the FA’s rules on third party ownership?
Whilst necking a pint of wine.
Whilst necking a pint of wine.
You wouldn’t support anyone else though would you? 
