I've been thinking a lot lately about the ways in which I can be a better friend, ally, and person in general to those around me whether they be friends, acquaintance, or just about anyone who crosses my path. Relationships matter and life teaches us so many valuable lessons.

I am an overthinker so I often find myself replaying scenarios and conversations I have had with friends etc in my head and pick on things I could have handled or said differently. I also acknowledge that I am also not the greatest listener, I typically listen to respond...

It's something I keep working on and I take careful note of active listening in others as well. There are so many ways we insert ourselves in conversations and miss out on so much because we're not truly present or have already captured enough and are ready to share or rebut..

When someone makes the effort to open up to us, to vent or make themselves vulnerable around us, they are not always looking for you to lecture them or even give your take. This can be tricky because we often genuinely want to help and offer advice but that's not always helpful

It's hard to know what someone needs from us in that exact moment, but sometimes wisdom and discernment helps us to know how best we can help at that moment. Sometimes folks just want to be heard, want to know that you care and that they can count on your support.

Avoid the urge to invalidate, counter or share your positive experience or to hijack their story to share about others you know going through something similar. Their feelings are valid and as their friend, try to focus on that and how you can help them through it.

It's okay to ask, how can I be a better friend for you right now? What can I do to help you get through this? Offer to pray for them, pray for them on the phone, at that moment, offer an uplifting thought/word, offer to get them something they enjoy, be thoughtful and sincere.

A simple act of service, words of affirmation, respecting their wishes, and just showing up and being there can make a world of difference. So many times, a listening ear is all they need. Don't make your friends feel terrible for venting, everyone needs room and space to breathe

Take some time to reflect on your patterns, how do you engage with those closest to you? Are you usually dismissive, defensive, try to one-up them when they try to engage? Are you that friend that people feel comfortable to open with and can you do the same?

Humans evolve and we're constantly learning more about ourselves. Strive to be that friend that uplifts who is sensitive to the needs of others. It's not always about you. Let's all do some soul searching, do an audit of our relationships so we can strive to be better.

I have promised to do a thread on adult friendships (though applicable to friendships generally) I will at some point, I need to gather my thoughts. For now, think on these things and feel free to share your thoughts on this.