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in 2014 when i was a new journalist at cnn my white boss pulled me into his office and said there were complaints from coworkers about my tweets supporting #blacklivesmatter 
, and asked me to tone it down. another (white) reporter pulled me aside and warned i was being too radical
, and asked me to tone it down. another (white) reporter pulled me aside and warned i was being too radical
in 2015, when part of my beat included social media, i pitched a piece about #OscarsSoWhite (h/t @ReignOfApril) which was trending everywhere. my white editor bristled and said there was "no evidence" the academy was motivated by racial bias and refused to let me report the story
in 2016 as donald trump was rising in the polls, a cnn editor took issue with a sentence i wrote in a story about the oregon militia. it was "many question whether occupiers' whiteness is affording them a different set of rules." the editor argued "whiteness" wasn't a real word
this was in hong kong, where i was sometimes the only person of color on the digital news team. i was also the youngest. i have countless more stories. but there was nobody to talk to about it. i got so good at putting on a good face, i still don't fully know how to talk about it
after watching videos of police shootings over and over at my desk (unavoidable at cnn) i would go out behind the office and cry. i started seeing a therapist for possible ptsd. when i asked the white boss for an unpaid 3 wk leave for mental health, he accused me of dishonesty
right now it may seem like change is in the air. but hearing from my poc friends in media in the last few weeks brings me right back to my time in cnn all those years ago. getting gaslit. having no backup. feeling constant terror of unemployment if you speak and write truthfully
all i can say is writers and journalists of color going through this have my forever solidarity and love. and to everyone else, we need support. we need resources. we need allies. now more than ever.
