/1 Let me be clear about some things:

- My story speaks to the experience of straight men who, at some point in their lives, developed an addiction to cross-dressing, and who, over time and with “counseling,” persuaded themselves that they were trans.

/2 Cross-dressing is a *behavioral addiction*. Like most addictions, it requires a greater and greater dose of dopamine to give the addict satisfaction.

/3 Over time, simply putting on a particular type of clothing fails to bring the desired “high”. The addict has to get a bigger hit.

This leads to a progression of full dress - seeking to pass - going out in public - possibly dating ...

/4 At some point in his development, the cross-dresser seeks counseling to inquire whether he might be trans. And here’s where it gets tricky:

Every counselor with knowledge of the topic is *predisposed* to say, “Yes, you’re trans. You should consider transitioning.”

/5 In today’s environment, with ubiquitous social media, the distance between the onset of cross-dressing behavior and the conclusion that one is trans is no doubt much shorter than when I sent through this arc.

/6 Some might even skip the therapy part, except for one thing: You need a letter from a therapist to reach the next level - Hormone Therapy.

There are ways to get hormones on the black/gray market, and some go that route. But it is VERY RISKY.

/7 And so it progresses, with the high received from each new stage eventually wearing off. Over time, passing in public might become passe, excuse the pun. The addiction requires another level.

/8 Each of these levels can easily be mistaken for validation. And there is some component of that. I can recall walking down a sidewalk and catching the gaze of a handsome young guy, and hearing him exclaim to his buddy as he walked by, “That is a *beautiful* woman!”

/9 No drug can compare to the high from something like that. It feels like walking on air.

But... something is always missing.

10/ And this is where reality starts to set in.

You realize that you are lonely, and will always be lonely. You miss your family. If, like me and many others, you’re married and have kids, you start to realize that you’ll never find love like you knew at home.

11/ You realize that your existence has become incredibly shallow, as you’re constantly wrapped up in your appearance, how well you pass, and whether men (or women) find you attractive. You realize that to go on means to lose everything you’ve held truly dear in life.

12/ You also start to realize that you’ve lost touch with the things that gave you pleasure in life as a man. But you’ve wreaked so much havoc on your body that it might well be impossible to find your way back.

13/ You might wonder, “If there was a pill that could ‘cure’ me of this, would I take it?” A part of you says, “Yes, of course!” Another part of you says, “I would miss the thrill of living like this.”

You might well suffer from depression. I did.

14/ And this is where I got very lucky. My psychiatrist prescribed Wellbutrin (bupropion) for my depression.

Turns out that an off-label use for bupropion is to treat some forms of addiction, such as smoking and - I find this very significant - gambling.

15/ After two weeks on bupropion, the desire to cross-dress and present as female simply went away.

I still *thought* about it.

But I no longer had that urgent need to *do* it.

My whole notion of what had been happening to me came crashing down around me.

16/ Because I realized: All the things I had done, all the money I had spent, all the damage I had done to my body and, most importantly, all the grief I had caused to my loved ones, was based on a lie.

I wasn’t transgender. I was an addict. And a recovering addict, at that.

17/ This was entirely a happy accident. My psychiatrist, who prescribed the bupriopion, knew nothing about gender dysphoria (I started seeing him for depression), but had met “Donna,” and was completely supportive. He was stunned when I told him about the side effect of the drug.

18/ This was nearly a decade ago. While I still *think* about it, I still haven’t had that overwhelming urge to cross-dress and present as female. That desperate urge simply went away.

I feel that I’m able to draw some larger lessons from this that will hopefully help others.

19/ First, I want to emphasize that I believe that #m2f #transgenders are real. However, they simply aren’t nearly as prevalent as the #TransRights activists would have you believe.

What I call a “real” #mtf #transsexual comes from a very different set of experiences.

20/ A genuine #transwoman almost certainly grew up feeling attracted to men, not women. One of the biggest lies perpetrated by the #TRA activists is that you can be a #translesbian. It’s a nonsensical fantasy, borne of a pornography addiction.

21/ It’s also utter nonsense that a man would “discover,” at a mature age, and especially after marrying and having children, that he is #trans. You don’t just “discover” something so fundamental about yourself at that stage in life. It’s either there at the beginning, or not.

22/ In my opinion, these types of “late-onset” #m2f #transwomen are just guys in dresses. But because they come from the male world, they know how to express their opinions, and they know how to organize. And they know how to get aggressive about what they want.

23/ That’s not meant as a putdown against men. That’s just a result of coming of age in the male world. Ironically, it’s nature.

24/ Fwiw, I have nothing to say about #ftm #f2m #transmen. It’s simply beyond the realm of my personal knowledge and experience.

I hope this thread helps.

25/ I would like to thank @BlanchardPhD for the hard and thankless task he has taken upon himself.

End of thread.