ITT I rate every RANKED (as of 14 June 2020) UFC fighter's nickname

If they don't have a nickname I'll skip em unless I have something to say about em

"Deus da Guerra" Deiveson Figueiredo (Flyweight #1 contender): 8/10

Starting off strong. "God of War" would kinda okay, but the same thing except in Spanish? Fantastic

"The Assassin Baby" Brandon Moreno (Flyweight #3 contender): 0/10

awful. just fucking awful

"The Cannibal" Alexandre Pantoja (Flyweight #4 contender): 7/10

"The" nicknames are generally mediocre, but this is on the upper end of them

Askar "Bullet" Askarov (Flyweight #7 contender): 6/10

Valentina wears it better (because I know who she is)

"Don't Blink" Kai Kara-France (Flyweight #8 contender): 2/10

Points for thinking outside the box, but this is a thing that will pop up occasionally on this list - fighters who ALREADY have cool/interesting names, adopting a nickname that just sucks ass

Matt "Danger" Schnell (Flyweight #10 contender): 7/10

Solid, classic

Brandon "Raw Dawg" Royval (Flyweight #11 contender): 3/10

Points for being lewd, but ugh

"Undertaker" David Dvorak (Flyweight #15 contender): 4/10

There are some nicknames that get mileage out of the fact that there is a lineage to them - "Sugar", "The Nature Boy", "Hitman". "Undertaker" is not one of them

"Magic" Marlon Moraes (Bantamweight #1 contender): 9/10

It worked for Earvin, it works for Marlon

"Funk Master" Aljamain Sterling (Bantamweight #2 contender): 8/10

135 is starting out much better than 125

"No Mercy" Petr Yan (Bantamweight #3 contender): 7/10

Phrases/idioms/whatever they're called are another category that can get pretty mediocre, but "No Mercy" is again on the top end of those

Cody "No Love" Garbrandt (Bantamweight #5 contender): 3/10

And this is on the bottom end of phrase nicknames

Jose Aldo (Bantamweight #6 contender): N/A

just thought it was interesting that it's pronounced like a J instead of an H

"The Young Punisher" Pedro Munhoz (Bantamweight #7 contender): 4/10

meh

"El Terror" Jimmie Rivera (Bantamweight #9 contender): 11/10

"The" nicknames are mediocre. "El" nicknames are cool as fuck. "El Terror" Jimmie Rivera sounds like a fucking drug kingpin. Beautiful

"Spartan" Cody Stamann (Bantamweight #10 contender): 7/10

Spartan/Stamann almost works really nicely together, but it doesn't quite click

"The Dominator" Dominick Cruz (Bantamweight #12 contender): 7/10

Works well because they share the letters d o m

"The Magician" John Dodson (Bantamweight #13 contender): 6/10

Shoulda just been another "Magic", bro

"Sugar" Sean O'Malley (Bantamweight #15 contender): 8/10

Another classic. Can't go wrong with "Sugar"

Alexander "The Great" Volkanovski (Featherweight Champion): 8/10

Kinda corny but hey it works

"Blessed" Max Holloway (Featherweight #1): 4/10

this word annoys me

"T-City" Brian Ortega (Featherweight #2 contender): 0/10

god fuck off

"The Korean Zombie" (Featherweight #4 contender): 10/10

He has a real name (Chan-sung Jung) but they literally go by The Korean Zombie on the broadcast display where they show you the fighter names, and it makes sense because it's cool

"El Pantera" Yair Rodriguez (Featherweight #5 contender): 7/10

Continuing the trend of good "El" nicknames

Frankie "The Answer" Edgar (Featherweight #7 contender): 3/10

Boring

Jeremy "Lil' Heathen" Stephens (Featherweight #9 contender): 4/10

The rhyming is nice but otherwise this sounds stupid

"Hurricane" Shane Burgos (Featherweight #10 contender): 7/10

Another good, solid classic

"50K" Dan Ige (Featherweight #11 contender): 9/10

I don't know what it means but I like it

"Almighty" Arnold Allen (Featherweight #12 contender): 8/10

A little corny but scores a lot of points on alliteration

"The Wizard" Ryan Hall (Featherweight #14 contender): 6/10

Better than "the Magician"

"Super" Sodiq Yusuff (Featherweight #15 contender): 6/10

w/e

"The Eagle" Khabib Nurmagomedov (Lightweight champion): 6/10

I don't want to say anything about his nickname because I don't want him to rip my spine out of my pelvis

Justin "The Highlight" Gaethje (Lightweight #1 contender/interim champion): 4/10

you can just get by on your unpronounceable name, dude

"El Cucuy" Tony Ferguson (Lightweight #2 contender): 5/10

I have no idea what to make of this. what is a cucuy

"The Diamond" Dustin Poirier (Lightweight #3 contender): 5/10

Drop "the" and it jumps up to a 7 for reminding me of DDP

"Notorious" Conor McGregor (Lightweight #4 contender): 6/10

2pac was better than Biggie FYI

Dan "The Hangman" Hooker (Lightweight #5 contender): 4/10

Mediocre nickname that loses points for being what it is during the BLM protests lol

"The Irish Dragon" Paul Felder (Lightweight #6 contender): 5/10

Dragons are Wales' thing bro

Charles "Do Bronx" Oliveira (Lightweight #7 contender): 5/10

the only guy I've seen who has a blurb about his nickname on his UFC page lol

"My nickname comes from the gym. People would see me and say, 'Here's the kid from Do Bronx.' In Portuguese that means 'the ghetto.'"

"The Motown Phenom" Kevin Lee (Lightweight #8 contender): 7/10

Kinda wordy, but Motown is a cool word

"Raging" Al Iaquinta (Lightweight #9 contender): 10/10

Excellent. "Raging" is so good. Not sure it really fits together with his real name but you can't win em all

Gregor "The Gift" Gillespie (Lightweight #11 contender): 1/10

fucking kill me this is terrible

Donald "Cowboy" Cerrone (Lightweight #12 contender): 6/10

it's k

Islam Makhachev (Lightweight #13 contender): N/A

no nickname, just a sickass real name

"The Nigerian Nightmare" Kamaru Usman (Welterweight champion): 8/10

He already has a cool name, but Nigerian Nightmare doesn't detract from it and is fairly unique in its own right

Gilbert "Durinho" Burns (Welterweight #1 contender): 5/10

I don't know what this means, and it doesn't sound cool or intimidating or anything. It does get points for not being English tho

"Chaos" Colby Covington (Welterweight #2 contender): 8/10

I regret to inform you that Chaos rules as a nickname, even for a MAGA shitheel like Colby

Jorge "Gamebred" Masvidal (Welterweight #3 contender): 4/10

I get what he was going for here but it just kinda sounds like dogshit

"The Chosen One" Tyron Woodley (Welterweight #4 contender): 5/10

boring

Leon "Rocky" Edwards (Welterweight #5 contender): 3/10

Jumps up to 7/10 if you just call him Rocky Edwards

Stephen "Wonderboy" Thompson (Welterweight #6 contender): 8/10

listen I know he would absolutely destroy me but I can't find a picture of his face that doesn't make me want to punch him in the face and "Wonderboy" fits that vibe very well

"Maverick" Michael Chiesa (Welterweight #8 contender): 6/10

I dunno if he has this mullet anymore but the fact that he ever wore it really does make him a maverick

"Handz of Steel" Geoff Neal (Welterweight #11 contender): 3/10

"Hands of Steel" never works for me, and the fact that there's a Z there makes it even worse. Appreciate the rhyme though

"Ruthless" Robbie Lawler (Welterweight #12 contender): 10/10

absolute masterclass in nicknaming

"The Silent Assassin" Vicente Luque (Welterweight #13 contender): 1/10

bro that just means a fart

"Showtime" Anthony Pettis (Welterweight #14 contender): 4/10

boring

"The Last Stylebender" Israel Adesanya (Middleweight champion): 5/10

and people say Henry Cejudo is the king of cringe

Robert "The Reaper" Whittaker (Middleweight #1 contender): 4/10

meh

"The Eraser" Paulo Costa (Middleweight #2 contender): 2/10

are you kidding me with this

"Tha Killa Gorilla" Jared Cannonier (Middleweight #3 contender): 5/10

wordy, but, jumps up to 8 when you compare to the next guy

"The Gorilla" Darren Till (Middleweight #4 contender): 3/10

virgin: The Gorilla
chad: Tha Killa Gorilla

"Soldier of God" Yoel Romero (Middleweight #5 contender): 4/10

the days of the Pope fucking the Crusaders are long gone bro

"The Joker" Jack Hermansson (Middleweight #6 contender): 3/10

god damn can you people put some effort into this shit for fuck's sake

"The Golden Boy" Edmen Shahbazyan (Middleweight #9 contender): 2/10

dude you have one of those weird Armenian names or whatever just go by that, it's cool. "_____ Boy" nicknames make your face 10x more punchable

"Prime Time" Uriah Hall (Middleweight #10 contender): 7/10

I might be being generous because the last 4 or 5 were shit, but I do think this way better than "Showtime"

"Wolverine" Omari Akhmedov (Middleweight #11 contender): 4/10

he's hairy enough I guess?

"The Hurricane" Ian Heinisch (Middleweight #13 contender): 3/10

"the" makes it so much worse

"The Italian Dream" Marvin Vettori (Middleweight #14 contender): 3/10

god this division is rough

"Cara de Sapato" Antonio Carlos Junior (Middleweight #15 contender): 8/10

another one where I don't know what it means but it sounds sick as fuck. extra points for reminding me of Emiliano Zapata

Jon "Bones" Jones (Light Heavyweight champion): 9/10

a bit awkward to say the whole thing, but if you just say Jon Bones or Jonny Bones or whatever, it's excellent

"The Devastator" Dominick Reyes (Light Heavyweight #1 contender): 5/10

average

Thiago "Maretta" Santos (Light Heavyweight #2 contender): 8/10

dope. sounds like a gun

"Overtime" Corey Anderson (Light Heavyweight #4 contender): 5/10

maybe you shoulda put some OVERTIME into thinking up your nickname BUDDY

Glover Teixeira (Light Heavyweight #5 contender): N/A

"Lionheart" Anthony Smith (Light Heavyweight #6 contender): 7/10

if it's good enough for Jericho, it's good enough for this guy

Volkan "No Time" Oezdemir (Light Heavyweight #7 contender): 3/10

yeah, no time to learn how to pronounce that name

"The Mauler" Alexander Gustafsson (Light Heavyweight #8 contender): 7/10

not sure why but this one made me laugh and it's not like this is a scientific list so

"The Miner" Nikita Krylov (Light Heavyweight #10 contender): 3/10

dude you have a great scary Soviet guy 80s pro wrestling heel name, go with like "the Red Menace" or something for the cheap heat

Johnny Walker (Light Heavyweight #11 contender): N/A

This guy changed his name to get a sponsorship. Crazy what people have to do to survive in capitalism :/ He didn't even get the spelling right!

"Superman" Ryan Spann (Light Heavyweight #13 contender): 9/10

By itself, Superman is sorta average as a nickname, but "Superman" Ryan Spann rolls off the tongue so smoothly and is super fun to say

Mauricio "Shogun" Rua (Light Heavyweight #15 contender): 10/10

"Shogun" is so integral to this guy's identity that when I first read his first name on the UFC website, I thought "oh someone else with the same last name took his nickname". "Shogun" Rua is just *chef's kiss*

Daniel "DC" Cormier (Heavyweight #1 contender): N/A

DC stands for doesn't count, idiot

"The Predator" Francis Ngannou (Heavyweight #2 contender): ∞/10

call yourself whatever you want dude just please do not punch me

Curtis "Razor" Blaydes (Heavyweight #3 contender): 9/10

like peanut butter and chocolate

"The Black Beast" Derrick Lewis (Heavyweight #4 contender): 4/10

Junior "Cigano" Dos Santos (Heavyweight #5 contender): 5/10

Cigars are cool I guess? not sure what I'm looking at here

Jairzinho "Bigi Boy" Rozenstruik (Heavyweight #6 contender): 3/10

Big Boy woulda been at least a 6 fyi

Alexander "Drago" Volkov (Heavyweight #7 contender): 8/10

now THIS is how you capitalize on a cool Russian name

"The Demolition Man" Alistair Overeem (Heavyweight #8 contender): 4/10

his nickname on forums is "horse meat" and frankly he should go by that

"The Big Ticket" Walt Harris (Heavyweight #9 contender): 6/10

at least it's a little more outside the box than some of the other shit on this list

"The Boa Constrictor" Aleksei Oleinik (Heavyweight #11 contender): 6/10

Exotic!

Shamil "Abrek" Abdurakhimov (Heavyweight #12 contender): 5/10

what does this mean

Fabricio "Vai Cavalo" Werdum (Heavyweight #14 contender): 7/10

every word here is just a joy to say

Blagoy "Baga" Ivanov (Heavyweight #15 contender): 10/10

holy shit lmfao

Weili "Magnum" Zhang (Strawweight champion): 5/10

there's a joke here about either ice cream bars, condoms, or guns, and I'm not sure which direction to go. assume I made a good one, thank you

"Bate Estaca" Jessica Andrade (Strawweight #1 contender): 9/10

dope, sounds like some sort of mythical llama-killing monster from South American folklore or something

"Thug" Rose Namajunas (Strawweight #2 contender): 10/10

"Thug Rose" rolls off the tongue so nicely. also Namajunas is a cool sounding last name

Joanna Jedrzejczyk (Strawweight #4 contender): N/A

sometimes I fantasize about Grand Crown Hetman of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, Holy Warrior and Defender of the Catholic Faith Joanna Jedrzejczyk prosecuting a crusade against me, a Buddhist heathen

please date me JJ

Claudia "Claudinha" Gadelha (Strawweight #6 contender): 6/10

yeah Claudia-chan is fine I guess

"Cookie Monster" Carla Esparza (Strawweight #7 contender): 4/10

I mean I like cookies too but it's not terribly cool or intimidating or anything

"The Karate Hottie" Michelle Waterson (Strawweight #8 contender): 4/10

cons: kinda cringe
pros: she is, in fact, smokin hot

"The Tiny Tornado" Tecia Torres (Strawweight #11 contender): 7/10

kinda wordy but also really fun to say. so many T's. T T T T

"Overkill" Angela Hill (Strawweight #13 contender): 10/10

hell yes. 90s comic book anti-hero as fuck

"Lil Bulldog" Felice Herrig (Strawweight #15 contender): 5/10

you can just be "Bulldog" dude

Valentina "Bullet" Shevchenko (Flyweight champion): 7/10

she wears it better than that other guy (because I know who she is)

"Blonde Fighter" Katlyn Chookagian (Flyweight #1 contender): 5/10

I mean.............. she's not wrong?

Joanne 「ＪＯＪＯ」 Calderwood (Flyweight #3 contender): ゴゴゴゴ/10

俺は人間をやめろぞ！ＪＯＪＯーッ！

Jessica "Evil" Eye (Flyweight #4 contender): 8/10

would be an all-timer if I could get "here we go Evil, here we go!" out of my head but

"The Happy Warrior" Roxanne Modafferi (Flyweight #6 contender): 3/10

oof

"Lucky" Lauren Murphy (Flyweight #7 contender): 7/10

a bit cliche for someone with (presumably) Irish heritage, but if there's anything this list has taught me, sometimes you should just stick to the classics when it comes to nicknames

Viviane "Vivi" Araujo (Flyweight #8 contender): 6/10

counts a little more than DC I guess

"KGB" Andrea Lee (Flyweight #9 contender) ☭☭/10

not sure I can be objecСоюз нерушимый республик свободных
Сплотила навеки Великая Русь.
Да здравствует созданный волей народов
Единый, могучий Советский Союз!

Славься, Отечество наше свободное,
Дружбы народов надежный оплот!
Зна

"The Future" Maycee Barber (Flyweight #10 contender): 5/10

eh

"La Pantera" Antonina Shevchenko (Flyweight #13 contender): 7/10

better than "the panther" by virtue of being Spanish

"Firefist" Ji Yeon Kim (Flyweight #14 contender): 8/10

sick

"Meatball" Molly McCann (Flyweight #15 contender): 3/10

c'mon man

"The Lioness" Amanda Nunes (Bantamweight & Featherweight champion): ∞/10

listen dude call yourself whatever you want just please don't punch me

"The Iron Lady" Germaine de Randamie (Bantamweight #1 contender): 0/10

margaret thatcher ass nickname

"The Preacher's Daughter" Holly Holm (Bantamweight #2 contender): 5/10

not really my speed, but it fits her (on top of just being the truth, like with Katlyn's nickname). she seems like a very pleasant person

"The Venezuelan Vixen" Julianna Peña (Bantamweight #4 contender): 6/10

long live the Bolivarian Revolution

"Rocky" Raquel Pennington (Bantamweight #6 contender): 8/10

now THIS is a Rocky name

"Fenomeno" Ketlen Vieira (Bantamweight #7 contender): 7/10

like AJ Styles except cooler

"The Belizean Bruiser" Marion Reneau (Bantamweight # 10 contender): 6/10

I'm kind of over "The <country demonym> <noun>" nicknames at this point

"Elbow Queen" Lina Lansberg (Bantamweight #11 contender): 4/10

gets points for creativity, loses points for making me rub the bridge of my nose

"Pitbull" Bethe Correia (Bantamweight #13 contender): 8/10

cc: Felice Herrig

see? It's not Bulldog but it's close enough

Sijara "Sarj" Eubank (Bantamweight #14 contender): 8/10

good integration of her real name, strong sound