Short definition: “permissive transgression” is what I call it when you enter a space where you see somebody do something that in any other context would be wrong but you don’t see anyone doing anything about it so you think you should do it too.

I specifically use this phrase to describe what happens when a person with privilege (usually white) expresses an idea in a sloppy, careless, or quietly harmful way. Nobody says anything about it, and then somebody else sees that it’s okay and pushes the harmful idea farther.

Like somebody makes a joke, and it accidentally makes light of a vector of marginalization. Nobody calls it out, so then somebody else makes a riff on the joke that also makes light of that marginalization.

Now it’s a joke about oppressing a group of people.

I try to keep an eye out for this when it happens, and I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable speaking up about it when I see it.

On Twitter, it always happens when three or more white people are posting on a thread. Always.

Call to action? If you’re white, pay attention to what the white people around you are riffing on, especially if they’re riffing on something you said. And learn to say something immediately.

Say “Uh, this is making my uncomfortable all of a sudden, can we talk about that”

You’re allowed and encouraged to do this even if you realize you’re the one who started it. “Hey I know we’re riffing on what I said but I’m hearing it back and I really don’t think we should be talking like this”

It’s easy, no one needs to fight, and you’ll be glad you did it.