You know when you wake up and wonder if last night actually happend or it was a very real dream you had?

Then you start putting the pieces together bit by bit and confirm everything.......

So the night before, you arrange at work to leave early one Friday as you have to go fetch your ride at the dealership

You get to the Audi dealership and they tell you they're just finishing off washing it and you can have a seat in the customer lounge.

So while you're having one of those Audi cappuccino's prepared by a guy called Simon who puts the 4 rings on it, a very nice lady comes to you and asks to plug her laptop by the table you're sitting at

She frantically types away on her MacBook, while you're looking at her thinking "Jeez, she's nice this woman" you glance at her left hand and see the outline of a ring she clearly never took off for years. It's not there anymore. "Ok" you think to yourself

She finishes, slaps the MacBook closed ( you can't call a MacBook a laptop. No) and says "Riiight. Sorry about that. Hi I'm Sam" and gives out a hand to shake. You shake it thinking "yeey that handshake was firm"

You chat away with Sam and notice that she has a tendency of brushing her left hand, where her ring used to be, but think it's too early to ask about that, and frankly kind of creepy that you noticed

While chatting away you look at the TV in the customer lounge, th news is playing and you hear "I am Zikhona Tshona. Johannesburg"

Sam asks "You must be a lawyer right?" You laugh and ask " Haibo why?" She responds "only a lawyer wears black lace up shoes, black pants and a white shirt with cufflinks bhuti. Unless youre an undertaker" you both laugh

You laugh it off and intentionally dont ask her what she does. You sense she was expecting that question

A guy comes to tell her that her car is done. She takes a look at her Daniel Wellington watch and responds "Oh okay. Fantastic" grabs her Michael Kors bag and says to you "listen. Some girlfriends and I are having a chill this evening. Are you keen?"

You say okay and ask for her number. She says "Give me yours. I will text you" you give her and She saves it. She walks away and struts to her SUV. Wow. What a woman!!!

A few minutes later your phone rings. It's your boy Spiyoyo you answer "sure Spiyanko!!" He says "my son. How are you? Uphi boy" you tell him you're at the dealership and he suggests sundowners. Sure mfe2 see you in a bit. You finish your Audi cappuccino

You take your keys. Hope in the ride and look for a track to leave in. You decide on Cassper Nyovest's "Baby Girl". Off to the restaurant. As you drive Off, you laugh to yourself and think "Foook. Something tells me I'm going to have a good day"

Spiyo signals the waiter to come. He rushes to your table and says "Chief. What can I get You?" Spiyo answers "do you say Chief to white people also? Is there a reason why didn't say Sir to me?"

You tell the waiter to go get the drinks. Spiyo reprimands you "Chief. You can't coward to issues. You must confront them head on. We are paying here. They must respect us" you apologize and promise to do better

You spot Spiyos ex and tell him. He is quiet. She's with a professional soccer player. She looks hella fresh. She approaches your table and greets you "Hi my friend. I miss you" it's awkward. Very much so

Spiyo and her great. He tells her "The corpse ye relationship yethu is barely underground and you already outchea. Nc nc nc." She laughs and says "Haaisuka. It was nice to see you guys" and goes back to her table

You laugh and ask him if he's bitter and he responds "Chief. Aubrey Graham once said 'I don't get bitter, i just get better', so I'm fine". The drinks come and you get a phone call from a number you don't know

"Hello. It's Sam. We met earlier at Service Centre. I was wondering if ubusy? We just chilling ne girls" you answer "No not at all. Drop me the location. I'm with a friend. Is it fine if I bring him?" She says fine. See you soon

You tell Spiyo about Sam, and he says "Chief. Let's go. Tshini this guy. We have been sitting here kanti we can be chilling with women of substance let's pay and leave. It's not 8 yet, we can make Tops" you finish your drink and head out

As you head, Spiyo looks to his ex who is laughing away there with the soccer player. He says to you "Mxim. Bench players talking like starters. I hate it" you laugh unlock the car, parking lights come on, you love that sight

As you head out, Spiyanko stops next to you and opens the windows and the GTI is pumping "aaaw sukendleleni jobe. Sukendleni jobe" you agree on which Tops to stop at, he speeds away: vvvvvvrrr pha pha!

You enter the Tops. It's close to a varsity so it's filled with students. You ask Spiyanko what you wana get, he answers "S.O.P my chief. Standard Operating Procedure. 2 bottles of Hennessy VS and champers for the laayries" he puts in 3 bottled of Simonsig in the trolley

As you are waiting in the line, he asks about Sam. You tell her that she's an older lady. He says "Yhoo mtshana. Class of 76 old or umkhonto wesizwe old?" you say "hayi man. Probably early 80s or late 70s" oooh okay

He says "hayi ke then we won't be needing these. We need the real makoya" he takes out the Simonsig and comes back with Veuve Clicquot Brut. You not in agreement. There is a group of ladies infront of you. Spiyo looks in their trolley and says "don't you ladies want a gin?"

The ladies look at him, taken aback. He says "No don't worry. I will worry for You. Take a gin. This trolley looks light" they do and he tells the cashier to add to yours. They pay, thank him and leave.

You say "yazi mfethu. It's sad that we live in a country where women have to always be on high alert when it comes to men. They can't even accept kind gestures because we are bottom of the barrel" the cashier agrees and says "Yho bhuti wam. Siphila nzima nyani"

You each pay half and leave. You put in the location. And tell Spiyo to follow you. It's an affluent area. You arrive at the house. There is a large gate. You call SAM and she says okay she's going to open

The gate opens and it's a massive house. There are a German machines parked outside. You spot Sam's Audi. There is a G-Wagon and a Porsche Cayenne also here. Spiyo asks "Chief. These are serious arrangments. It's going to be a tough match this"

Sam opens the door and greets you guys with a biiig smile. Hi guys! She's more casual than earlier. Torn jeans and Puma Sneakers. She ushers you both in. Spiyo is usually quiet. She says "It's cold here so we are all by the bar" you and Spiyo look at each other

You offer her the bags with the champers on, she says "oh you shouldn't have. We have more than enough bubbles here" you and Spiyo look at each other again. You approach the bar, there are about 4 ladies. They're listening to Kenny Lattimore - For You

Sam introduces you to all the ladies, you notice they all look you dead in the eye when greeting. One of them, Vuyo. Asks Spiyo "I like your shoes bhuti. What are they Sebago? Inja yegame responds "No. Timberland" she says oooh okay

It's nice here. The ladies are chatting away. You and Sam are chatting away, Spiyo is reserved. Out of character almost. He goes to the bar. You follow him

He opens the Henny and pours you both straight shots. You drink. He says "Chief. It's serious women this. " you laugh it off. And join the convo. Whitney Houston - Lover For Life is playing. Vee gets up and starts dancing and signing. Spiyo joins her.

Vee shouts. "Yhooo undibamba kamnandi man lomfana" Whitney is playing niiiice there in the background. Go monate. Sam and you are chilling on the couch. Drinks in hand.

Spiyo has Vuyo and co laughing. Vuyo is from Joburg but in town for the week. She had a meeting but decided to extend to be with the girls. Vuyo says they are out of ice. Sam checks the bar fridge. Dololo Ice

You offer to go buy but Sam say not to worry. "Let me call ICE BAR" you ask what that is and she says "Black owned. They deliver but it obviously can't be one bag. I buy from them. Mobile fridges also. I used them when we had my daughters birthday recently"

Vuyo responds "great are they national? I don't know of something like that on JHB" Sam responds "not sure my friend. I know PE" Sam asks you call and reads out the number: 061 549 4235.

Sam gets a call. "Argh it's my ex" she opens the sliding door gets out and closes it. Spiyo looks at you and winks. She's waving her hands shouting on the phone

She comes back visibly frustrated. She says "He saw my whatsapp status and now uthi I'm here with abafana" Spiyo asks "Abafana?? Hayi hayi" Sam brings out a smile. "HE says he's coming here now" Vuyo says "He ke. He mustnt come with nonsense apha"

Spiyanko now is Djaying. Mature playist. Bongo Maffin - Thatisbhgubu. Glass coffee table was moved. There is get down bus dance going on. Glasses are filled. Hennessy and Veuve are making the pots to be done

Next track up. Black Box - Fantasy. Spiyo and Vuyo are vibing proper now. People are singing, the bus is going!!!!

You and Sam are engaging in Vosho . When you look up, Spiyanko is within lamza there by Sis Vuyo the vibe is dampened by a call Sam receives. Its the ex, he says he's outside.

Sam asks what to "Yho guys. He's very stubborn. I don't want to let him in" Spiyanko says "no let that comrade in. He's not going to do anything. We won't entertain nonsense here" Vuyo puts Spiyos arm around her

Sam takes a deep breath and opens the gate. She grabs your hand tight. A Range Rover Sport speeds in and stops by the front door. A tall and rather large chap gets out and doesn't close the car door, storming in

"WTF is happening here Siyamthanda!! How dare you bring amadoda in my house. Where are my kids?" Sam shouts "What's your problem Tshepo? This isn't YOUR house. And MY kids are at my sisters" He responds "Hey Voetsek man!!!!"

He shouts "Vuyo. You are here. In my house with layties. I'm going to call people to come and deal with this. As you are about to respond, Spiyo steps forward and says "Mamela grootman. I don't know you. But number 1: I'm not a laytie. Number 2: I think you need to calm down"

Tshepo responds "This is my house. What are you doing here?" Spiyo responds "don't let me saying grootman to You, fool you into thinking I wont f*** you up right here in your own house. You are being rude and scaring women here"

"If you want talk to Sam then calm down. And there is nobody you will call here. I know all the people you will call. They like me more than they like you. So if you want to to fight. You must do it yourself. Ndim lo. Try me. Please!!!!"

Tshepo keeps quiet and says "Okay. Let me speak to my wife" Sam shouts "In not your wife!!!!" Spiyo winks at You, as he turns around to walk away, Tshepo tackles Spiyo from behind. Their momentum pushes them on top of the glass coffee table. It shatters

Spiyo is first to get up and starts panel beating Tshepo. Ladies are screaming. You jump in and restrain Tshepo. Spiyo gets the last two in. Vuyo manages to stop him. Sam is shouting at Tshepo to leave. He does so. Slams the door of the Range and drives off

It's dead quiet. Sam is in tears apologising. You hug her. Spiyo pours himself a strong Henny. He tries to break the tension by saying "Yeses. I got blood on my Timberlands" Vee is crying also. Spiyo hugs her and kisses her forehead

She notices blood on his shirt. And asks him to take it off. I has a cut by his rib from the glass. Vuyo takes off his shirt. Sam brings first aid kit and Vee cleans the wound.

Spiyo says he has a shirt in the car. You tell Sam perhaps it's best you guys leave. She gives you a long hug and says okay. Spiyo is limping out. You tell Sam to consider a protection order against Tshepo. You explain that she can start process at Police Station

Vuyo says "Please baby. Have that wound checked tomorrow. You may need stitches" He agrees. She hands him her business card and asks her to call him.

As you get into your cars to leave. Spiyo says "Well done my boy. I taught you well. In a fight, You never restrain your friend. Restrain the other party" You both laugh and drive off. The END

Never stand silent when domestic violence comes up. There is no such thing as "Izinto zabantu azingenwa" #lessonstomynephew