Let's talk about Alec Trevelyan's staffing balls-up which led to his evil lair being manned not by sinister henchmen in boiler suits, but some sort of medium-sized admin department from a Cheshire-based print & design consultancy...

With absolutely no sense of why they're here or what they're supposed to be doing, they decide to just go along with it because "someone will probably say something soon..."

The first hint of trouble arrives when Mike Kenworthy from product and inventory spots a paramilitary gunman on his way to the water cooler. "Is he with our lot?"

So the rumour mill goes into overdrive as Brenda Sharpe from accounts payable, Steve Hornby from sales, and Lee Fung - a gap year student on work placement with IT & tech - all spot more 'not from around here' mercenaries "traipsin' through like they own the bloody place..."

Though fears are dampened by realising these supposed hardened killers are all pointing guns in different directions so clearly the mercenary department is underfunded as well which is certainly "par for the pissin' course with management around here..."

How do we know this staff is British btw? Because they just witnessed a shootout resulting in several deaths and all it musters is a lot of standing around and murmuring about "Don't know about you, Ted, but I'm not cleaning that up..."

"Reckon I say something about the *absolutely enormous* petroleum leak on 2?"

"Not unless you want the blame, Alan..."

So anyway it's back to work for the most part though it seems clear Dave Sneed from recruitment's having a quiet word about "Is it legal for us to work 49 hour shifts? I think I'm going to say something to Sheila at lunch if they ever let us have one."

Confirmed for British when heads snap on a swivel at the first sign of a bit of office drama - compounded by the fact that everyone's wanted to slap Boris since the day he showed up.

And as guns are drawn, deputy manager Brian Stokes schedules a meeting with human resources to raise concerns "re: safe working practises and possible hazard pay?

And if any more confirmation for British were needed it's here when the shit finally hits the fan and the temp staff bolt for the exits because they know better than anyone how to recognise a half day when it's thrown at them

Except for Stan Cavendish from customer retentions and Lee Jewson from legal & counsel who are electrocuted by the same exploding printer they complained to tech services about that very morning

And judging by the dark trousers and blue shirt, Gerry Fielding from head office probably won't be at this year's Christmas party either...

One thing's for sure - Blofeld would have never stood for this.