why "nonbinary lesbians" are harmful and invalid: a thread (by an actual nonbinary person)

nonbinary by definition is any gender identity that is not man or woman, since man and woman are the binary gender identities. that's not an insult, it's just a fact.

lesbian by definition is a woman who exclusively is romantically and/or sexually attracted to other women. trans women are of course included in this. lesbians are only women.

it's very simple then why nonbinary lesbians cannot/should not exist: because nonbinary people are not women. calling yourself nb and a lesbian at the same time is contradictory and invalidates either being nonbinary or a lesbian. take your pick, it's equally harmful to both.

why is it invalidating? because the whole point of being nonbinary is NOT being a man or woman. it's insulting to suggest that a nonbinary person can also be a woman. that is misgendering. it is conveying that the nonbinary idenity is some "Woman-Lite" or other crap.

nonbinary people can use gendered pronouns because our experience of gender is different than that of a binary gender, but we cannot call ourselves a binary and gendered term. lesbian is a binary term. we are not. binary people use their one pronoun only - he or she.

if you think youre a binary person and you feel a disconnect from your identity or your pronoun - i got some news for you. chances are you're not actually binary! pronouns are inherently gendered. this is inescapable. they are not gender expression. they are gender indicators.

it is also invalidating to actual lesbians because it suggests that they are not just women, which is very untrue. lesbians have gone through enough harm historically. further ruining their idenity does not help.

luckily there is a term for nonbinary people who are exclusively attracted to women: trixic! this is the flag! PLEASE use this identity instead. it is sadly not very well known yet. spreading it will help stop the invalidating of nb people and lesbians.

nb people: WE CANNOT SAY D*KE. STOP SAYING IT. i see nb people throwing it around like it's a normal word so much on twitter. it is not our slur to reclaim. do not falsely label yourself a lesbian just so you can say the slur. you'll do fine without it, i promise.

trixics and lesbians should stand together and support each other and be able to bond, not invalidate each other and fight all the time. i really hope this thread helps people get along. have a good day/night yall.