Character From Musicals That Would Definitely Argue With You Saying “All Lives Matter”: A Thread

Professor Callahan from Legally Blonde: The Musical. In addition to saying “all lives matter”, he’d also use a whole bunch of big words to make you feel stupid, but have no real point to what he’s saying.

Joseph Pulitzer from Newsies. Would call you names like “snowflake!” and “dumb liberal!”

Earl from Waitress. Says “all lives matter” on your Facebook post but then adds, “excepp ladiezz! my wife makez me pie errday and that it rofl”

Cathy from The Last Five Years. Participated in blackout tuesday but honestly doesn’t see why everyone is so mad.

Lord Farquaad from Shrek: The Musical. Only says it to cause drama in Duloc. Doesn’t care about anyone’s life except his.

The Baker from Into The Woods. Says it once and Baker’s Wife pops off on him, spitting out all her knowledge on the BLM movement. He never says it again. He’s just impressionable. He has a strong character arc and he learns the error of his ways. Yay!

Man in the Yellow Suit from Tuck Everlasting. You don’t remember how you became Facebook friends with him; you’re not even sure you’ve met him in person. He’s probably a White Supremacist. He hates you.

Velma Von Tussle from Hairspray. She constantly tweets # whitelivesmatter and gets pissed when the k-pop stans flood the hashtag.

I don’t know if I can explain why I feel this way but,,,, Iago from Aladdin. I said what I said.