I’m watching Harry Potter for the first time ever. I’m 25. I was not allowed to watch growing up.

This will be my official thread lmfao. Let’s see if I can do all 8 movies. Here we go.

Why they got this baby sleeping under the stairs?

Chile this ain’t nothing but a British Matilda.

The cousin is one of them willy wonka golden ticket kids.

Roald Dahl should sue.

Look at this fat ass lil boy eating a cake that ain’t his.

Okay I know of Diagon Alley because of Harry Potter world at universal. I didn’t know what none of that stuff meant when I was walking through there.

Harry’s story is preaching ALREADY!

Baby, Voldemort tried to kill him as an INFANT, but when you are covered by the BLOOOOOD!!

Okay I’m back. Wes was SO CUTE.

JK had to be high when she came up with this.

It’s animals in the quidditch ball?

Hermione is perfect patty already.

Wait I don’t like Ron being mean to her! Aht aht.

Snape ain’t shit.

Why Hermione say she let the troll in?

Slytherin over here cheating!

Hagrid be spilling all the tea.

Bitch the pages in the book started screaming!

“Nicholas Flamel is the owner of THE SORCERER’S STONE!”

Me:

Wait. So a Voldemort killed a unicorn in the forest and was finna kill Harry... but Harry was saved by an Iota?

Wtf y’all got me watching?

This chess scene is cool !

Ron couldn’t have just gotten off the damn horse? Dramatic.

Lawd Snape ain’t even the bad guy.

Now why THE FUCK is he living in the back of this nigga head?!

Gryffindor got the most Africans.

SORCERER’S STONE IS DONE.

Chamber of secrets time!

Harry’s family ain’t shit. They need to let him stay at Hogwarts over the summer. They gotta have a camp or something

Dobby might be on that shit.

Malfoy’s daddy look like he in the Volturi from twilight.

Neville be going through it!

Draco called Hermione a n*gger!

I’m moaning myrtle.

Hermione as a cat looks better than CATS the movie.

LAWDDDD NOT HERMIONE!! UNPETRIFY HER, JESUS!

All these spiderssssssssssss

I knew Myrtle was the girl!!!

This is the same bathroom from Harriet the spy lol

THIS NIGGA IS VOLDEMORT?!

“You shall not harm Harry Potter”

DONE WITH CHAMBER OF SECRETS!

Okay I’m in my bed now. Is prisoner of Azkaban going to give me nightmares?

Before I start.

Y’all saying I won’t have nightmares but THESE MFS are in the movie?!

This Jamaican shrunken head is hilariously offensive.

Sirius Black... Sirius radio logo is a dog... dog... that dog was Sirius who was there before the bus pulled up.

Boom. I figured it out.

Harry the only person not scared to say Voldemort.

THIS SHIT IS SCARY. YALL LIED.

Commercial break - I found my house.

I got sorted into Ravenclaw in the official @wizardingworld Sorting Ceremony. #HousePride https://www.wizardingworld.com/outcome/ravenclaw

Harry can’t never just have a regular school year. Somebody always tryna kill him.

My dawg just wanna be a wizard, DASSALL.

Okay I’m officially sleepy. I’ll resume tomorrow. Thanks for rocking with me

I’m up. I didn’t have nightmares. Bout to resume the movie.

So why won’t people say Voldemort? It ain’t like he gon show up.... at least not now, with no body.

My mother has found out about “Operation: Potter”

She said I shouldn’t be “opening up my spirit” to this lmfao.

This new teacher is either Sirius or Peter.

Harry, Hermione and Ron and finally wearing regular clothes in their down time. They used to always wear their uniforms.

Harry needs some damn contacts at this point. It’s always something with his glasses.

I KNEW HE WAS THE DOG! I knew the teacher was sketchy!

It wasn’t your daddy boy it was YOU on the bird horse!!!

Wait. Didn’t past Harry see someone on an animal? Am I tripping! Lol

The werewolf in this is scary af cuz it’s literally a man-wolf. Not a fully transformed wolf.

I really enjoyed prisoner of Azkaban. Done.

Alright moving on....

BITCH I KNOW THIS AIN’T EDWARD CULLEN.

I need me one of these tents!

Look y’all it’s Africans!!

Omg they is in the NOSE. BLEEDS.

The death eaters are the KKK?

Beauxbatons said bad bitches only!!!!

Their headmistress:

Somebody is always bothering poor Neville.

Harry when his name got called from the goblet of fire and he didn’t put it there:

Okay I’m out but I’m watching on my phone lol.

The fact that Hagrid has the hots for this big ol lady is hilarious.

These games are finna be a mess.

I didn’t know Robert Pattinson had such a major role in HP lol. Cuz I was a HUGE twilight fan.

The black witches’ hair look a damn mess. Unh uhh.

Now wait a minute. Why is a 14-year-old Hermione going to the dance with this big grown ass man?

At least peter is down with the swirl (for now). And Ron brother.

Hermione walking past Ron with Viktor

Ron was SICK!! Ruined her whole night lol.

I just read a Harry Potter magazine in the store and saw major spoilers

Alright I’m back!

Myrtle was not playing with Harry in that bath.

LAWD NOT CEDRIC.

Voldemort bout to have him a body after being this ugly ass baby.

Of course Draco daddy is in the KKK.

Voldemort been waiting for this moment so long lmfao he excited as hell for all this.

Harry not going out like no bitch. Period.

Head to head with the worst of them. At 14.

His people came back to help him

Cedric daddy got me tore UPPPP!!!

I knew this weird ass man was the one who put his name in there all along.

Alright finished with Goblet of fire!

On to movie number 5!

Dudley is a wigger lmfao.

I do NOT like this Delores lady. It’s giving white supremacist.

I don’t like how they treating Harry in this movie.

Of course draco and his homies signed up to snitch.

I feel like Harry lowkey dirty macking on a dead boy but I’ll let him be great

This elf rude. Where dobby?

They always blaming stuff on Sirius Black.

This Delores hoe is insufferable.

Dumbledore said

The Iotas are pissed!!

I feel like Luna’s dad is crazy too.

These iotas deep as hell. The forest must be New Jersey.

She really put a noose on him! A true racist bitch.

Neville got all the smoke for bellatrix

Why would he give Lucius ANYTHING?!

stupefy!!!!

Oh FUCK Bellatrix! Fake ass Harley Quinn!

Lord. Voldemort is inside of him like Buddy Love.

Three movies left!

Draco a bitch.

They get a new dark arts teacher EVERY YEAR. It’s always some shit.

Hermione is always getting chose by someone bigger and finer than Ron.

Just for him to end up bagging her. Better than me.

Ron sister not even that bad either. But who am I?

Chile the hormones at hogwarts are raging out of control.

She curved the finest nigga in griffyndor just for him to make out with the next bitch as soon as he had a good game. The team she helped him make.

This the shit I be talking about.

Luna is a weirdo, but I really like her.

Why would Ginny run her happy ass out there?

Ron girlfriend is embarrassing.

The half blood prince is obviously Tom riddle.

Dumbledore hair be laid

THEY KILLED MY DAWG DUMBLEDORE

I’m sickkkkkkk.

R.A.B. = Real Ass Bitch

Okay. I only have two movies left y’all !! Two!! Deathly hallows part one and two.

I hope this movie explains why Voldemort is so ugly.

Ron brothers look so grown now.

All these Harrys look so funny.

Damn not the owl.

This movie is dark as hell.

Harry and hermione should smash just to spite Ron

Aw he came back. That was nice.

Lmfaooooo it’s showing Harry and hermione kissing. He sick!

This movie is a drag fr y’all

Not Dobby....

Alright I’m done. One movie left. I’m gonna eat, shower and get real comfortable before the last one.

Do y’all want me to do a recap on my YouTube??

Commercial break before I start the last movie -

Here’s me at Harry Potter World at universal in 2016. I had no idea the significance lol, I just thought it was cute.

I really hope he didn’t give that goblin the real sword.

Do they tell us why Voldemort ain’t got no nose? Just say yes or no.

Harry finally started saying “you-know-who” lol. Shook.

Wow they really squadding up for Harry

Ron mama be so stressed out.

Y’all think slaves built hogwarts?

Neville... RUN!!!!

This scene with the bridge is giving rugrats movie

These damn teenagers. This is NOT the time to be kissing!!!

Watch Harry save Draco and the black king he with.

See.

Damn Snape.

Every time Harry’s scar gets to acting up, you know Voldemort is on some BS.

For what it’s worth, if Voldemort wasn’t an evil wizard, he could’ve had a very promising ASMR career.

The ENUNCIATION!

I just KNOW one of the twins not dead!

The wolf teacher and his lady too?!

Chile is snape his real daddy? This some Tyler Perry shit?

Aw he got his bitch took and still was loyal to her kid with the guy who bullied him a true simp.

All his people with him

(Harry does not have this lady’s eyes. At all. Shame on you, casting )

Ohhh that’s the hallow that’s shows the loved ones. Got it.

Hagrid looks like that one muppet.

Why she ask Draco if he was alive

Ain’t never seen a Nigga realer than Neville Longbottom. Ever.

I KNOW THATS RIGHT MOLLY WEASLEY! TELL THAT HOE BELLATRIX TO PLAY WITH SOMEBODY ELSE!

I been rooting for Neville since DAY ONE!!!!!!

Ain’t gon lie. Voldemort’s death was anti-climactic for me. I wanted it to be more dramatic lmfao.

He faded away like Thanos snapped.

Idk why but I’m mad Harry broke the wand up like....

Me trying and failing to be moved by the flash forward with the kids:

But... nonetheless.... I AM FINISHED! All 8 Harry Potter movies!!!!

No, I am not reading them long ass books but I am now able to join in on all the conversations.

I feel so accomplished!!!

I think my favorite movies were “prisoner of Azkaban” and “Goblet of Fire.”

Here you go guys. I uploaded it. All 35 minutes

Check out my HARRY POTTER RECAP VIDEO! Thank you guys for the love on the thread!!!