I’ve been getting DMs from brand new LTs and junior Soldiers who want to talk about how to correct peers and leaders on homophobic/racist/sexist comments.

A thread 1/

First, this is a hard conversation. It seems easy to just do the right thing, but the rank differential really can feel intimidating. This is also not exhaustive, just some things I’ve noticed and how I try to handle it. Anyone is welcome to add on. 2/

I try to think of corrections in terms of appropriate escalation. Try to resolve it at your level first, try something else if the problem persists. It also depends on what the offense is — I would react differently to someone dropping a “that’s gay” vs a racial slur. 3/

You need to think about how you’d react to different situations and what you’d say before they happen, so you’re not taken by surprise if they dk. I also think that makes you feel more comfortable in the moment to step up. 4/

A lot of these things are laced into jokes, which is part of the problem. That’s also some of where the anxiety comes from — that you’ll be labeled a buzz kill. That’s nonsense and don’t buy into it. 5/

Actual strategies should reflect your personal communication style and also the situation. Speak the way you speak. Also “what the fuck bro” could work on a peer, but probably won’t on your boss. 6/

For me, regardless of rank or position, I try to make those corrections in the moment. Short, casually, immediately. 7/

“I don’t think that’s funny.”
“I don’t think that’s really appropriate.”
“What if a gay Soldier heard you say that?”
“I think we’re better than that.”

Easy, gets the point across without getting up on a soapbox or being perceived as overdramatic (esp a problem for women). 8/

^my last works for stuff that’s inappropriate but not egregious. If you hear someone say something egregious, your response needs to be harsher and candidly you need to report it higher. EO rep and chaplain can point you to the right place. 9/

Also, look for people who are like-minded around you. Ask them to back you up in the future. Strength in numbers, etc. 10/

This thread is about peers and people who outrank you, but also you should talk to your soldiers about this. That’s a lot easier to influence honestly. “We don’t talk like that in this platoon, sergeant.” 11/

An observation is I think it’s easier for women than men to make corrections sometimes. We’re already a little isolated so we don’t have much to lose — we aren’t often part of the boys clubs. But! 12/

That’s why it’s important for junior male leaders to do this! Because your peers are your leaders are more likely to listen to you than women. You’re in a better position to change opinions and behavior. 13/

I think it’s much harder to address homophobia than sexism or racism. Casual homophobia works its way into our language easily — I had an E7 sincerely apologize for using “f*ggot” and explain that he had a gay brother and he didn’t mean gay people. Still need to address it. 14/

(I’m devolving a little bit but a fun way to challenge rape jokes is to say “I don’t get it. Can you explain it to me? Why is that funny?” 10/10 times the dude ends up wildly embarrassed). 15/

Also like, in terms of expectation management, every time I’ve corrected someone they either quickly apologized, huffed a little, or talked to me more about it later. But I also didn’t hear them do it again (at least around me). And Soldiers have thanked me for speaking up. 16/

So it might not seem huge, but it matters and your Soldiers are watching. I always regret the times I didn’t speak up and I don’t regret the times I did. 17/

Feel free to comment your thoughts, I’d love to hear other people’s experiences and best practices with this. 18/18