thinking abt the gang dunking on jacobi for having a VERY obvious thing for angel when they're all watching buffy together. he tries to get back by bullying lovelace for saying faith was her gay awakening when she was like 17 but everyone boos him off the couch.

lovelace: you realize she's like actually good looking right. and angel isn't. he looks like a fucking piece of plywood.
jacobi: no oh my gd he's hot you're insane
hera: you're a fucking necrophile booo
jacobi: THREE EPISODES AGO YOU SAID YOU'D FUCK DARLA

eiffel has a soft spot for willow and it makes hera rly emotional <3 s1e8 is a fucking RIOT hera is losing it the entire time minkowski has to hold her back bc shes saying "YEAH WE FUCKING LIVE IN A SOCIETY NOW DONT WE" and threatening to break the tv

l: oh mygd. um. the master. is the master more like cutter or like ke—
j: I AM STOPPING YOU RIGHT THE FUCK THERE. NOT ONE MORE WORD.
l: my bad lol the MAYOR is kepler
j: what so does make you si-5 you faith kinnie
l: i am NOT—
minkowski, resident buffy kinnie: yeah babe you are

hera and minkowski no doublesing over buffy meanwhile eiffel is vibing and desperately trying to ignore the fact that him from the past was a xander kinnie to just an upsetting level of accuracy

BOOOOO OH MY GD THE MORTIFYING ORDEAL OF JACOBI AND EIFFEL WATCHING THE ZEPPO. MINKOWSKI HAS TO LEAVE THE ROOM TO COLLECT HERSELF. XANDER SAYS "I LIKE THE QUIET" AND JACOBI THREATENS TO PUNCH THROUGH THE WALL. not that he could hes got twig arms but

l, watching the faith scene in the zeppo: do u wanna say i'm a faith kinnie now
m, arm around eiffel: isabel i love you so much but THATS NOT THE MAIN TAKEAWAY FROM THIS EPISODE
j, 100% shut down: 10/10 would smash captain
h: oh so you admit you're xander
j: fuck wait no-

oh no they get to the gift and minkowski just full-on sobs. she's looking at eiffel and crying and when buffy says "be brave. live." to dawn she can't stop thinking about how she tried to send him back and how his dumbass had to return n sacrifice himself.

[HEATED debate about "she saved the world a lot" and if it's done purposefully as a commentary on the chosen one trope, the writers misunderstanding buffy, buffy's friend being awful to her, or a genuinely good phrase to put on the gravestone] [heated debate abt b's birth year]

tabula rasa is a really hard episode for minkowski to get through too. man. but when willow says "and i think iim kinda gay!" eiffels like "lol me when im kinda gay and also lost my memory" and lovelace punches him in the arm and hera threatens to pour water on him in his sleep

j: maxwell was always really into cordelia i think??? i dont know i only ever actually Sat Down and watched an episode w her a few times the rest was just stuff i osmosed from her having it on while she worked
h: I Really Don't Like Cordelia
j: ... if im being honest neither do i

lovelace spends an entire half hour waxing poetic about the s1e1 cold open and how it sets up the themes for the show and how it's about trope subversion but only to a certain point and also how darla's kinda hot and minkowski just dreamily watches her rant the whole time

everyone is split on who the best villain is minkowski is a sap so she thinks it's willow lovelace is gay so she thinks it's glory everyone else refuses to pick sides there is a moment where everyone is genuinely worried minlace is going to break up over this

eiffel loves s7

the gang plays Would You Fuck This Buffy Monster the game ends when eiffel jokingly says adam could get it and they can't tell if he's kidding or not

hera voice yes im in love with jenny no it is NOT a computer thing shut UP

e: oz is like kind of hot
j: oz is like five foot four
e: not as a werewolf he isnt
j: ...yeah as a werewolf he's like two foot four
e: just because you lack the ability to think the only pretty consistently decent guy is hot—
j: ...g—
e: DO NOT SAY GILES OH MY GD

xander says "i laugh in the face of danger! and then i run and hide until it's over!" and jacobi says you're fucking kinassigning me THIS bitch? and lovelace loses her mind

hera knows the details of everything that happens bc shes got wikipedia in her head but she doesnt have any of the emotional stuff so she KNOWS what happens in the body and she isn't expecting to get emotional over it but then it happens and she's just. an absolute wreck.

prophecy girl happens and everyone is like "hahaha jacobi you listen to country music and cry" and hes like How Did You Know This About Me and theyre like. we were. we were joking. and heras like no i wasn't ive seen him do it before up in space. omniscience/omnipresence ftw.

hera learns that she's taller than xander and spends the rest of the show threatening to step on him. someone says "hera its only by one or two inches—" and she says "ill fucking step on you too" and thats the end of the story.

during band candy minkowski is like "... oh i get why yall want to fuck Joyce now" and lovelace is like "you didn't ALREADY want to fuck Joyce?????"

m: riley isn't that bad i don't know why you hate him
l: jesus christ of course you'd be a riley apologist
j: riley looks like he'd call me an anti-semitic slur but on accident
l: literally no one asked gayboy

jacobi 100% thinks he’s a s2 spike rising and he thinks that that’s a cool thing

lie to me is another really rough one it REAAALLY gets lovelace thinkin abt lambert. minkowski eiffel hera group hug for the entire closing scene where buffy adn giles are at ford’s grave.

oh i hate that tweet ^ it was evil of me to say. hera has to be physically held back from breaking the tv after spike's lover's walk love's bitch speech. hera is the only one who HATES s2-3 spike. minkowski doesnt hate him but doesnt like him. lovelace kinda loves him.

spike: i may be love's bitc—
h: NO YOU'RE JUST A BITCH FULL STOP
l: hera PLEASE this is a famous part
h: im going to fucking destroy him who gives two shits about fame he'll be famous for the way he dies by the time im done w him
l: uh—
everyone: no SPOILERS!

lovelace is the only one who knows everything bc shes seen it be4. like hera has it all In Her Head theres a wikipedia page for literally every episode but hmmm perhaps shes in her body when she watches so she cant access extraneous information so its basically like normal person

they keep a running tally of which monsters eiffel says are hot. when xander gets turned into a demon magnet in that one ep theyre like damn dont u wish that was u and hes like i mean if im being honest—

lovelace hates bangel AND spuffy

iohefy is a CONTROVERSIAL episode methinks. lovelace loves it but minkowski is SUPER weirded out by it. honestly dont know where the others fall but it is a topic of discussion for Days after watching the episode. side note jesus christ that is such a good episode

also i think jacobi says he hates omwf but he actually loves omwf. everyone bullies minkowski but she doesn't actually love it she's more frustrated w it and keeps saying she could write a better version of a musical episode. eiffel LOVES omwf as he should <3

like jacobi knows all the words to going thru the motions (even tho it is a lovelace song which, like, YIKES!) and sometimes gets caught humming it and hes like :/ spending too much time around isabel its her fault :/ and lovelace is like you would not catch me dead singing this.

also the mortifying ordeal of im under your spell. minkowski feels like she has to have the sex talk w eiffel after that oh my gd. like eiffel when two women get together it does not actually end up with one of the levitating off the bed.

(side note 10/10 would NOT recommend watching buffy in general but ESPECIALLY the im under yr spell scene of omwf with your mother. hell. hell. hell.)

lmao theres one ep where tara is running away from a monster and i was like "dont die!" and my mom said "in that outfit? she deserves to." my mom lowkey hates tara. that but its jacobi because he genuinely thinks tara is boring because hes the worst person in the universe.

The Gang Has A Vicious Argument Over XanderCordy Asmr (i am going to write this as a fic oh my g-ddd literally so self-serving i dont care i need to see lovelace call xander a spineless little adultering bitch or something along those lines)

l: no i DONT blame willow for it
j: she cheated too!
l: thats not her fault!
j: ? it literally is
l: no it isn't! its joss's fault
j: so its not joss's fault when xander cheats?
l: yes but its DIFFERENT its in character
m: i mean arguably it—
l: i do not want to have to dump you.

m: kind of wild how xandercordy was like... the only Full Normal Regular Human x Full Normal Regular Human relationship
l: lame who would want to date a human thats why they suck
m: hmmm i dont think they suck entirely i think enemies to lovers is neat :-)
l: fair :-)

actually going wild over the gang debates xandercordy its so funny. hera likes it but only because she dislikes both xander AND cordelia. eiffel thinks it's fun. lovelace xander anti but also kind of loves him Loves cordelia. jacobi sexist doesnt rly like cordy.

this is kepler actually. not face wise just like. you know?

^ that is spike btw

(this is how spike normally dresses that outfit is an outlier unfortunately a fucking seeing red screencap is the 2nd image fuck seeing red worst episode of anything ever to air)

like the thing is. the mayor IS kepler and that absolutely enrages lovelace she's like why why why. Why faith why.

lovelace evilly watching minkowski get emotional over the "can you just be kissing me" scene like. Hurts just a little bit.

idk if i said this before but hell's bells makes hera (anya kinnie)(not really but she recognizes the parallels) absolutely livid. there is no going back for her after that she devotes her life to kiIIing xander harris. and she gets really emotional over anya's vows.

lovelace isn’t a faith kinnie because she’s like... a much better person than faith honestly but her homoerotic tension w buffy is something that can be SO minlace

like personally i think the gang assigns lovelace faith kin but since lovelace is the only one who has actually seen buffy before this she’s like. Oh my gd you are all so wrong. and then bad girls/consequences happens and they’re like NO YEAH NOPE. NO

actually. Actually i think when they’re watching consequences and faith goes on her tirade abt how much good they’ve done jacobi guilt trips lovelace a little over the two jacobis thing where she removed the part on the door

everyone has one buffy opinion that they deserve to be decked for. eiffel is a s7 apoligist. lovelace gets invested in willowxander Every Single Time despite the fact that she HAS watched the show before. minkowski doesn’t mind riley like at all. jacobi is super into s3 bangel.

hera doesn’t have bad opinions actually except for that she doesn’t rly like cordelia. That is a very bad opinion.

also let me elaborate on jacobi being pro s3 bangel. it’s not just that he’s super into angel it’s that he truly finds the awful s3 bangel angst compelling. literally could not give two shits about the whole willowxander fallout drama bc he just genuinely is obsessed w s3 bangel

this is so funny the virgin jacobi being way into a relationship that can be summed up as Hetero Bullshit versus the chad lovelace fuffy truther

jacobi and lovelace recite the Love’s Bitch speech from lover’s walk in unison and minkowski threatens to dump lovelace and bar jacobi from the house ASMR

the gang makes minkowski a Class Protector umbrella :,)

minkowski watching the fuffy bodyswap episode: sure hope this doesn’t awaken anything in me!

it would be good of jacobi to be a trans xander truther but honestly i think lovelace is more than he is . Also she sort of hates xander but sort of loves him . hera voice xander doesn’t DESERVE to be trans

wow i havent added to this thread in a month. anyway the fuffy bodyswap episode is so fun and everyone is crying laughing over "because it's WRONG" and bullying minkowski for being buffykin re: that. (authors note today on I Conveniently Ignore Minkowski KiIIing Someone,)

j: ha lol what if one day you two woke up and you'd bodyswapped
m:
l:
m:
l:
m:
l:
j: NO FORGET I FUCKING ASKED

e: is that like. What's happening there is they mean they'd have se—
h: YES, eiffel, they mean they'd have sex.
j: i fucking hate this family

m: so we're all in agreement that faith sleeping with riley was wrong, right?
everyone:
everyone:
everyone:
j: why the fuck are you looking at me i might be a murderer but i'd never advocate for cheating jesus christ. Anyway spoken to your husband lately renee?
l: hEY—

hera voice adam is bad robot representation i'd never skin a person. well i mean not anymore maybe when i was younger but nOw i wouldnt.

lovelace gleefully insists willow s2-4 is a furry and minkowski vehemently denies this and everyone else does not want to get in the middle of the most amusing and one-sided argument they have ever seen

j: anya is so fucking funny she's such a b—
[minkowski death glare activate]
j: blunt person. it makes her funny as hell.
h: also she's a total bitch

losing it imagining minkowski and hera sitting through season six not bc of like the extreme content but just for the fact that the villains are literally three burnout incels who peaked in high school and by peaked i mean they were bottom of the food chain

also lovelace makes them all watch bring it on after finishing buffy which eiffel actually had watched w hera between the end of canon and the gang watching buffy. jacobi has also seen it (si5 movie night) and so has minkowski (its a good movie!) but neither of them will admit it

^ that tweet isn’t About Buffy but 2 buffy actresses are in bring it on so yeah. hera voice so basically faith plays faith if faith was a buffy who wasn’t a slayer eiffel voice you say these words and i understand them and i love you so much for that. minkowski voice wtf.

lovelace and jacobi voice ew straights

the gang is divided into people who like xander’s fashion (jacobi, lovelace, eiffel) and people who are smarter than that (hera, minkowski)

to be fair hera is an avid defender of like pretty much anything buffy wears which is not only wrong it is just sad but yeah hera y2k fashion queen

minkowski aka the only person w taste but also kind of very boring taste thinks early season willow outfits are cute and so are joyce’s and most of dawn’s and that’s pretty much it. oh and some anya stuff and the rare buffy fit.

h: wow i love the way jenny dresses
m: arent supercomputers supposed to be smart

for context this is how jenny dresses. it could be a lot worse it could be tara maclay outfits.

the shot in s1e7 where buffy’s cross burns angel’s chest has lovelace and jacobi going fully insane and minkowski and hera are like YOU GUYS REALIZE SHE’S STILL SIXTEEN RIGHT and eiffel is like. Please can we just start the next episode Ple

#LOVELACE:

i hate jacobi bc he ISNT opposed to bangel. lovelace guilty pleasure enjoys it jacobi just unabashedly enjoys it for all three seasons

wow its been so long since i updated this thread. anyway in the universe of w359 maxwell made this meme

also yes jacobi is trans no he doesn't watch buffy in a trans way. in fact jacobi doesn't even watch buffy in a gay way. this isn't me saying jacobi engages w all media like a cishet but he does engage w buffy like a cishet.

^ this does not mean he does not understand how gay fuffy is. my mom is a cishet and she's a fuffy. it just means jacobi is a bangel and isn't trans about oz or xander or whatever. the chad alana "willow is a she/they" maxwell vs the virgin jacobi