Dear Mr. President, I watched with great pride as you humbly spoke of your legacy: democracy, SGR, miles of roads...

So I have taken the liberty to list some of your other achievements that surpass those of all other administrations combined
A thread, if you will...
While on the subject of contraband goods, how could we forget the wonderful copper, mercury and yeast-containing sugar that your administration so generously gifted us with over the last few years.

Asante sana, mtukufu rais, kwa ukarimu wako.
Connected to this is your generosity in paying the suppliers 5 times the going rate for the equipment.

Ordinarily, a unit costs between Sh40-45 million at the current market prices, but the Ministry of Health procured each at a whooping Sh227 million
Connected to the ingenuous Mafya House, I recall the mobile clinics project, which was a nice touch seeing as how everything has gone mobile these days.

And those only cost us Sh800mn.

I understand they are now at Mathari Hospital.

Nice touch sir.
Your efforts to boost NHIF in order to insure all Kenyans have been commendable.

At last count, we had donated about Sh10bn as NHIF officials and hospitals’ administrations conspired to double-charge the Government in medical bills.
I hear NHIF runs top of the line technology systems...

"Four years later, the insurer has splashed Sh1.88bn in streamlining its revenue streams, which documents before the NHIF board indicate is nearly 5 times the cost of purchasing such a software."
Onto Youth Empowerment and the tremendous efforts put into NYS by your administration are quite honestly, mind-blowing, your excellency.

The number of young, German-fluent beneficiaries of this scheme is quite literally innumerable.
In March this year, we learned that NYS had mobilised yet another Sh10bn to empower the youth over the last several years

Your magnanimity towards the youth, Mr President, is a godsend to our great republic.
On food sufficiency the Israelis say it best

“In the history of Israel, no government-to-government development project has ever failed. I am talking about the Galana-Kulalu irrigation project. It is the first ever to fail in the history of Israel,”
So astounded were the Israelis by the the determination of your administration to ensure food security for the nation via Galana-Kubafu that they left after realising that we already had expertise that exceeded their very own.
Speaking of going digital, your administration registered 36mn of a total of 47mn Kenyans under Huduma Namba

So secure is the data that not a single Kenyan has received their Huduma Namba to date.

Your commitment to data security is A-1, excellency.
Still on Huduma Namba, we understand that the government spared no expense in ensuring that all our data was collected and stored securely.

Over and above the Sh7.7bn already invested, your administration will invest an additional Sh1bn.
Onto matters security now and last year we learned that your administration was building a wall on the Somalia border that will make Trump's wall look like child's play.

He can never match the Sh350mn being spent on every kilometer of wall built.
Imagine my delight at learning that we installed such a sophisticated integrated command, control and communication (IC3) system, that we are hardly utilising it

At Sh15bn awarded to Safaricom in 2014, this is certainly futuristic in its conception
This in turn has seen the ever resourceful Kenya Power donate over Sh4.5bn to power transformer suppliers.

Some say that the transformers supplied were bogus and defective... but what do I know?

At least they are doing the best they can.
You, sir, may have forgotten this but we try not to.

The Kenya Forestry Service donated Sh2bn meant to set up tree seedling nurseries, create forestry clubs, and build water harvesting infrastructure in schools.

After all, schools are going digital.
You can follow @surambaya.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: