I talked to a friend this morning about her frustration with how to be a good ally. She read a bunch of articles I had sent her and felt frustrated because she thought they were telling her to be quiet...

She feels like she wants to do something and everything she wants to do is wrong. I reminded her that the articles also recommend educating yourself and donating money. But that doesn’t feel like doing anything...

I pointed out education is doing something, and donating is doing something. Amplifying voices is doing something. She agreed. We finally got around to the real complaint - none of these things make her a visible ally...

The lesson most of us white women have to learn is that Black Lives Matter is not about us. We aren’t the star of this show. If we want to be someone other than the villain we need to de enter ourselves and support the voices of Black people who live this.

De-center. Sigh.