Some advocates like to package their anti-racism advocacy to be as gentle and nice to white people as possible. That's just not me. I can't do it. I'm here for people of color, not white people, and have learned coddling does more harm than good. Sorry not sorry?

I *used* to be much nicer about it. But it accomplished nothing. And the coolest thing happened when I stopped trying to pamper white people, and shifted to just being honest and direct. I started connecting with more people of color than white people. Which is great.

When I was coddling white people the only thing I was doing was validating *them.* When I shifted my approach, I started to validate *people of color.* White folks don't need more validation and centering.

We do.

Centering people of color also gave me the opportunity to learn about the struggles we face with each other that don't even include white people, but that are still built on white supremacy. It has become more about healing all of us and myself, which I think is important.

There's work for me to do here too. Work to be done when it comes to anti-Blackness in my own community. Work when it comes to unlearning internalized white supremacy. Centering people of color allows me to dive deeply into these issues without the distraction of whiteness.

I don't need to teach white people anything. There are actual scholars and activists out there, especially Black scholars and activists, who are experts who should be paid for this work. Maybe my next iteration is to focus on helping people of color to heal some of the damage.