You need to be careful when marinading your students in neo-marxist ideology -- too little salt, and they will be flavourless, but too much salt and the meat will be dry and tough

Always check your seasoning! Try adding some yoghurt to your neo-marxist ideology before coating your students -- the lactic acid will gently break them down, making them tender and moist

Neo-marxism is not to everyone's taste: personally I prefer a mixture of revolutionary feminism and post-colonialism, but use whatever tastes good to you! Also: lemon juice.

Just realised I didn't actually attach the screen-grab to the top tweet in this thread. Please do not eat your students.

broke: universities will be back to normal in autumn to provide the best student experience!
woke: universities will be using online teaching and learning to keep everyone safe
bespoke: universities will give each student a tub of chilli/garlic/smoked salt/EVOO body lotion