Thread by @kierongillen, Here's an RPG thread about the single technique I suspect would make [...]

Here's an RPG thread about the single technique I suspect would make a positive difference to almost any RPG group: Stars & Wishes, as detailed in an expanded form here. https://www.gauntlet-rpg.com/blog/stars-and-wishes

When folks talk to me about a game that isn't quite working for them, my advice is almost always "Have you talked to the person about it?"

(This is also the best first step advice for about 95% of personal problems between friends. Doesn't make it
any easier to do, obv.)

The problem is that people are generally conflict adverse. Being singled out for A Conversation is always stressful, no matter how gently it's framed. It normally only happens with a severe problem, which has normally grown over time.

Stars & Wishes pre-empts a lot of this.

Stars & Wishes works by at the end of the sessions all players (and GM) give people (or things) that happened in the games STARS (As in, "I loved that!). Then they state WISHES (Things which they want to see more of.)

Let's talk Stars first.

Stars are useful by themselves, because it's just a bonding exercise. It lets people feel that they were seen playing, by their peers.

It reminds you of the good things and that it was nice to be together. It also encourages behaviours the groups wants to see more of.

That Stars come before wishes means that the Wishes (which tend to be about things which weren't fulfilled) are softened. We're all reminded what there's a bunch of cool stuff, which is why we're all getting together.

Wishes take many forms. They are ways to express both what a player is excited about in a session and also what a player would like to do in the future.

It can speak to the large scale ("I really hope we get a chance at revenge at that Nazgul") and the small scale ("That hobbit bartender was hilarious. I hope we cross paths with him) and so on.

This is useful, especially for a GM, as it lets you know what is working.

(In that example, you now know that that NPC has a fan. Maybe you didn't realise that before. You make a note, and think about bringing them back. Same with the Nazgul - maybe you thought business with that Nazgul was completed. Now they're back on the table.)

However, Wishes are the gentlest way of issuing complaints, or growing tensions.

"This session was so much fighting - I'd love to do something a little more conversational, or investigatory."

"I've got this new ability and I'd love to have a chance to use it."

These last two are positive spins on players approaching the point of "I am getting bored of all this mechanical combat" and "I don't feel that my character class is getting sufficient chances to make a difference" but likely expressed before a player is entirely pissed off.

It's also worth stressing this works for GMs communicating to the players as well, both with Stars highlighting things you adored and want to see more of, and Wishes pointing at areas you'd like to see more of.

RPGs tend to be about ritual, so having a gentle standardized bit of ritual is a lovely way to end the game, and tends to leave energy high - even while containing actual useful feedback to each other.

If you haven't, give it shot. I think you'll find it useful.

(As an aside to that, the other point of Stars Before Wishes is that it frames even the gentle critique of Wishes in the context of the love of your players. I've found if you just start talking about stuff you wish was different, it tends to sour your memories. )

As several have noted, this is mainly a codified form of the after-game-session chat most folks do. When I do it in my group, it merges with that period. The advantage is that as it *is* codified it makes sure of several things, not least everyone having a chance to speak.

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