These mouth breathing fucking fetal alcohol nazis in Snohomish “protecting” two blocks of antique stores from nobody are KILLING me. What a bunch of hysterical backwater shit birds. I’m in tears. I haven’t laughed in days. Check these fucking nerds out...

Ha ha ha! Check out Travis here with the three sizes two small fake ass flack jacket. What’s the point? Half assing the racist hand sign? Own that shit you hillbilly fuck. Look at dudes feet! Full time rodeo clown. The look on his face. What are you so smug about you silly fuck.

Give me a BREAK! Zip ties? Mini flash light?? These guys are playing army man. A radio in downtown Snohomish. Bitch anyone could hear you yell all the way across town. It makes you look so “tactical” though. What a fucking dork. Crawl back to your trailer Daryl. Nobody cares.

This guy might be my favorite. Deer rifle, winter gloves and holy shit Clete, are you fucking wearing leggings!? Is this like the proud boy minors? Look at this fucking skid mark. I would NOT feel safer with this doofus standing guard. Fucking poser Nazis. Smh.

This one is really taking the spirit of Snohomish to heart. Is that a fucking musket Mitch? A bayonet? That’s going to come in handy 60 years ago. It goes perfectly with your mail order flack jacket.

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> This is the face of the alt right. Nice Oakleys Greg! Gun range ear protection is a nice touch too. Now you can’t hear the approaching nobody, because nobody gives a shit about proud boys. What a bunch of losers.

Really Garret? An empty fucking Army backpack? Bro, that’s so tactical! Sick 7-Up spittoon and interesting idea with the desert tones! You’re not about to let these imaginary foes take your antique bric a brac without looking like an ineffective waste of space!

Oh shit! Watch your back Antifa! It’s Billy the Skid. The former crip turned daytime drywall installer moonlighting as a racist crack baby. Your dumb ass racist Nazi gang sign doesn’t have the same effect in your dad’s gloves though https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">.

Brent is super serious about protecting these antiques you guys. He’s seriously tired of everybody making fun of his my-first-neck beard. It’s the best he can do! Now stand down before he puts his tactical New Balance sneaker up your race trading ass! Antique white pride!

And finally, it’s the Fetal Alcohol Faction (they’re an offshoot group). Just look at these dick nails. Every one of them a walking pro abortion argument. They all have that long neck, small head giant fetus trailer trash cut to their jib. Proud? https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy"> Fuck off.