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1. I’ve learned a whole lot more about White people in the last week than in a lifetime of gates, mayonnaise and boater shoes.
2. Trust me when I say I will utilize these lessons and stay keeping notes.
3. I’ve been feeling those minstrel strings more and more the last year(s) or so, but damn if they didn’t just reveal they whole ass stage and my main role as entertainment.
4. My brother used to say:
“The only things you gotta do is be black and die.”
We didn’t realize the two were synomous.
“The only things you gotta do is be black and die.”
We didn’t realize the two were synomous.
5. Because all the money, access and excess in the world never stopped anybody from calling me a Nigger.
6. Every black person I’ve spoken to has said this time feels different and oh but it does.
7. They’ve also ALL said they’ve been shocked by the response of their white friends. Me too.
(My favorite are the ones who keep saying,
“Well all this looting and rioting just takes away from their message”
Like y’all EVER fucking cared about the message in the first place.)
(My favorite are the ones who keep saying,
“Well all this looting and rioting just takes away from their message”
Like y’all EVER fucking cared about the message in the first place.)
8. My brother had to explain to his son why we’re different, why he can’t do or say or play like his white cousins and friends.
My nephew, his son, is eight.
My nephew, his son, is eight.
9. At eight, a girl explained nobody liked me because I was black, and that her mother said that’s why my mum was single.
I was told to apologize and invite her to church.
I was told to apologize and invite her to church.
10. My mother told me when these things happens, she turns her anger to God because that’s the only way to remember all the times it could have been us, but it wasn’t.
11. At 24, I was handcuffed and taking to jail and put into a locked room without charges.
They let me go when my white boss advocated on my behalf.
“You were never the one I expected to bail out of jail, Brittany” she joked on the ride home. She couldn’t see my tears.
They let me go when my white boss advocated on my behalf.
“You were never the one I expected to bail out of jail, Brittany” she joked on the ride home. She couldn’t see my tears.
12. There was an unspoken decision not to tell my grandparents about what’s happening.
My grandmother called me this afternoon. She spoke of her creaking joints and her 81st birthday on Wednesday. I silently sobbed.
My grandmother called me this afternoon. She spoke of her creaking joints and her 81st birthday on Wednesday. I silently sobbed.
13. When I was thirteen, I received my first in-school suspension. It was for fighting.
I was in the library at the time, and the librarian even vouched I couldn’t have been present for the fight, but the principal said the black kids started it. And there were only 8 of us.
I was in the library at the time, and the librarian even vouched I couldn’t have been present for the fight, but the principal said the black kids started it. And there were only 8 of us.
14. If I could figure out how not to be angry, I could figure out how to function.
But first I need to stop crying.
But first I need to stop crying.
15. The visibility of pain amplifies attention and apathy.
16. The apathy intensifies the anger. Everything intensifies the anger.
Everyone loves a good cyclical chain.
Everyone loves a good cyclical chain.
17. When I was seventeen, they put a brick in the mailbox of my mother’s million dollar neighborhood and said if I didn’t leave my private school, they’d put it through my window.
I sat next to the orchestrator at graduation.
I sat next to the orchestrator at graduation.
18. At eighteen, I went away to uni in a very small town in East Texas. My mother prayed over me before she left.
She exhaled for the first time four years later when I walked across stage.
She exhaled for the first time four years later when I walked across stage.
19. I was nineteen the first time I was pulled over by a cop.
He said my driver’s license was fake, because people like me couldn’t live in neighborhoods like that.
My mother held me until I slept and then slipped into the closet to cry.
He said my driver’s license was fake, because people like me couldn’t live in neighborhoods like that.
My mother held me until I slept and then slipped into the closet to cry.
20. We went to a spa retreat. People moved, asked for refunds.
The chef prepared a private tasting menu instead.
The chef prepared a private tasting menu instead.
21. To be black is to live with a spotlight and a noose above your head, and either can come crashing down at any moment.
22. “You’re young, you’re black, you’re a woman, AND you have an accent. Help yourself.”
23. It occurs to me in every moment of black grief, there’s a white whisper that are grateful to be drowned out because then they can say they tried.
Hear me say this: you didn’t.
Hear me say this: you didn’t.
24. We don’t need your “Etiquette for Negros” handbook unless its kindling for the fires YOUR actions caused.
Yes, YOU. Not just your ancestors. You profit from and live in a society built on oppression and all I hear is your faux-offense and excuses instead of action.
Yes, YOU. Not just your ancestors. You profit from and live in a society built on oppression and all I hear is your faux-offense and excuses instead of action.
25. That wasn’t the shuck-and-jive from your regularly scheduled Negro Programming.
We don’t dance for you anymore.
Now, did you get that message?
We don’t dance for you anymore.
Now, did you get that message?
